Reassess and Renew

I almost didn’t make this post.  Not so much because I wanted to avoid admitting failures.  I was having some fun–I was giving myself a few hours of total escapism just for the sake of escapism.

It actually started last night when I had intended to go to the Albany Symphony with a friend.  We didn’t go.  I was the one who supposed to drive, and I was overtired and not feeling well enough to actually be out all evening.  And since I was falling asleep at my keyboard an hour before I could have managed to get home, I don’t regret the choice, even though I had looked forward to the concert for over a month.

Then today, I woke up feeling shot.  Too much sleep maybe?  Didn’t feel good until around noon.   Add to that,  Marcus was sick.  Sick as in the feverish, “hold me, Mommy” on the couch in a whimpery ball, kind of sick.  We had some fun story time, some fun watching his favorite show “Timmy Time“, even some hugging to Wee Sing music.  When he’s sick, Marcus almost always wants us to play “Wee Sing For Baby” which is very sweet–one of those reminders that he’s still just five years old, no matter how big he seems to be getting some days.

So, after he went to bed, I played some Neverwinter Nights.  I cheated at it horribly.  I went into the game with the full intention of just hacking and slashing at everything and doing all sorts of evil things.  And good things.  Basically…  ALL THE THINGS!   I still had my 750words to write. I still had to do my ROW80 check-in.  I even had some typing and editing to do to finish my week.  Bah!  No worries or panic.  I did stopp playing (obviously) to write this.   But less because I felt I should and more because I’d chosen to do the month 750words challenge for January.  I’ve got $20 on the table if I pass up a day of writing.

I’m too cheap to let go without at least trying to get it done.

So what happened with my goals?

The first thing I guess is reevaluate te goals and see if they need adjustment.  They need adjustment.  There is no ifs, ands, or buts in this.  They need adjusting.

So adjustments and reasons:

1)I’m ditching the idea of  the YMCA membership.  It’s not as if I don’t exercise.  I actually have exercised somewhat more since January 2nd just because of my “Dance Every Day” goal.  And if I can Dance Every Day, I can consider other

Dance Every Day

Image by Lester Public Library via Flickr

possible little pieces of exercise to add into that mix.  I’ve got a few ideas and I’ve used the weights and my exercise ball at least every other day anyway.   So I will just stop beating myself over the head for not driving to the gym and renewing.  It’s worse than missing a day of exercise when I feel that guilt.

2) Typing pages had worked somewhat, but I always fall short of the 15 page mark.  Dropping that down to 10, which I’ve reached (by pushing the first week, and by sheer luck the second, and barely this week).   This way, I’m not giving myself an impossible goal.  I know it can be done.  And if I can go through this whole ROW doing that every week without exception, I know I can increase it again.

3) Social media….  Social media!   I’m still fighting with Twitter and Tweetdeck (which for some reason does not want to let me log in).  I have to figure out why I’m getting double and triple copies of a post or tweet going out.  Even if I really were that interesting to read, I can’t imagine that people would want to read the same things over and over.  So, along with visiting at least 10 blogs a week (I’ve averaged over 15) and commenting,  I will keep working on the posting issue.

4) My own blogging needs to slow down.  If I get this out by midnight, then I will have written five decently large posts since last Sunday.  Well, the Blogspot post was what many people would call normal.  The rest of these could be labeled as novellas (which is something ELSE I need to work on).  So, including the two check-ins, I would like to add just a post to my Garden of Delights page and not much else.  I thought the idea of themed Friday posts was cool, but really, it sucks.  Fridays are impossibly chaotic for me.  And somehow, even though I’d been working on this last Friday’s post from Tuesday on, it still went out late and had nothing at all to do with anything I’d started writing (the original topics were going to be the book by Robert Rankin I’m reading, the movie Orpheé by Jean Cocteau, and my experiences growing up among Hoarders and Extreme Couponers as opposed to the media depictions).  Basically, Fridays just don’t work.  Or the project is too ambitious in the first place.  Or I’m just not “there” at the moment.  Either way, I need to back burner that post for a time.

5) And this is why:  I haven’t had a moment of mental energy since the first week of ROW to work on any of my WiPs except a bit of editing and typing.  All my original creative efforts seem to be flowing into these blog posts.  It’s cool in a way; it’s not cool in that I’m always ending my days feeling just that little more lost, and that little further lost, and…  Basically, I need to spend sometime with some good friends.  I mean, Atyr might not care much–we don’t often see eye to eye.  But I know ‘Listii and Alanii have suggested that I get my butt to the chair with pen in hand and let them tell me a thing or two.

So, what am I left with?

  1. I’m still going to do a Saturday post on the Garden of Delights.  I’m finding those posts oddly relaxing.
  2. I still have the two ROW check-ins.
  3. I still have “read and comment in ten blogs per week.”
  4. I have “type in ten pages of handwritten material to edit”.
  5. I still have “Dance Every Day”, now with a little extra exercise…maybe two dances every day
  6. And I have “spend some quality time with my characters and my WiPs”.

I think that covers it.

So now I will leave you with this thought…  How many of you knew that the US Government was censoring videos that people wish to bring into the US?  I’d heard rumors before.  Today I got proof.  It’s called a Video/Film Declaration Form and is used to ensure that the video being declared will:

“contain no obscene or immoral material nor any matter advocating or urging treason or insurrection against the United States, nor any threat to take the life of or inflict bodily harm upon any person
in the United States.”

Excuse me, but I thought McCarthyism was long over.

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5 responses to “Reassess and Renew

  1. It’s good to be so attuned to the goals and what you want them to do for you…..I know there was a time when that would bother you to the point of distraction.

    Hope Marcus is already feeling better. Something low-grade and draining here, too….

    I like the direction you’re taking your goals, although I think there’s a lot of value, too, in these blogposts….I’ve found that mine are now feeding my fiction, and vice verse…..so my 750words have become my fiction for the day, and I’m focusing on blog posts, too….of course, I want to do both, and that might not meet your needs.

    It sounds like you are well in tune with that you want and need from this venture.

    And that makes me very happy!

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  2. Owe you a real answer one of these days, Sys. Been a bit chaotic here. Much love though. (And yes, I do think these blog posts have a lot of value, but the feeling overwhelmed doesn’t… could just all of us being sick this week too though…never helps the stress levels).

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  3. I’d say you’ve been a bit on the busy side. But that’s what so nice about Row80, it’s flexible. These are very good goals. Keep up the great work!

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    • I hear you, Wendy. I’m in love with the ROW80 format. The check-ins make it easy to keep track on what is actually happening. Of course, it also points out the bad with the good, but in general all is good. Just a bit overdone this past week. Trying to find my groove… Thanks for stopping in. 🙂

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