It recently occurred to me that I have a real life.
Well, okay… the discover didn’t have recently; I just didn’t really pay much attention when Life’s Clue-By-Fours would give me a womp on the side of the skull (usually virtually) in hopes that I would start to pay better attention. And, as always happens in disciplinary situations, I would scramble to deal with any paperwork, affairs, events, etc. that awaited me so that I might quickly escape back to my books, art and stories.
It’s only recently that I’ve discovered how to merge my lives (online, offline and story-based) into something cohesive. Some of it has come from not having to make so many of these changes in mode on the schedules of others as much as I used to. It’s incredibly difficult for people on the Autism Spectrum (even those with milder versions of Asperger’s) to move from one frame of thought to another, something I understood intuitively for years but never understood why.
Over the years I used something akin to multitasking where I would only half focus on any one thing at a time so that I could “deal” with those things that jumped in at inconvenient time. The problem with this technique is of course that everything jumps in at an inconvenient time and that I never got the chance to truly become engrossed in anything that appealed to me. Oh… and almost nothing ever got finished.
In comes being a mom and trying to finish up some of the hundreds of half-finished projects that I’ve started over the years*… I learned early on that I could not be half-focused on my son. I also could not, for my sanity, be completely separated from my writing. Everyone needs an outlet for their creative passions, and I tried to force all of my passion into writing at carefully allotted times such as when the Boodle would be napping or later when he was in school. And that was…
Now, thanks to my amazing husband, who works from home most of the time, and homeschooling (no more 2 hours of commute each day or administration-based “extras” to deal with), changing mental modes has become easier, not just for me, but for all of us. We allow ourselves time to flow from task to task more than before. We permit ourselves the occasional absences, even when in the same room. And we have spaces to work on things where we’re able to shift gear more smoothly… memo board, post-it notes, email reminders.
What does this have to do with a ROW80 check-in or anything else? Not much really–I just realized this after I’d come into a bit of a goal slump that this week also had been one filled with a lot of external changes of focus. Yes, many of these changes are things I need to deal with or are things I initiated (such as acquiring beta readers for Release), but they are changes nonetheless, and I haven’t fully internalized the processes I need to deal with them.
So I’m behind for this check-in. There , I said it. I am behind. I did not get more than a few hundred words done on my 1,500 a week goal. I did not visit as many blogs as I wanted (though I did at least reach my minimum). Exercise and reading were both minimal but there.
I did spend a fair amount of time comparing versions of files from one computer to another and editing photos.
No complaints here–the week was what it was, and it held a nice mix of ups and downs. It just wasn’t a good week for me to get things done. I’m okay with that. I’m also beginning to understand why things happen this way.
So now, let’s go visit some other ROWers, many of whom I’m sure have great news, some of whom are in the same fix as me and others who need some boosting up after real set-backs.
*These projects I do not wish to let slide, because I enjoy them. I just never seem to have the time to delve into them the way my brain demands. Some I’ve discussed here such as my drawing and my various stories. I also have a blanket I’m crocheting, I used to do beadwork and make jewelry, and I’d love to learn painting, sewing and how to cook better.