Reallife interventions…

Grape vines and snowIt recently occurred to me that I have a real life.

Well, okay…  the discover didn’t have recently; I just didn’t really pay much attention when Life’s Clue-By-Fours would give me a womp on the side of the skull (usually virtually) in hopes that I would start to pay better attention.  And, as always happens in disciplinary situations, I would scramble to deal with any paperwork, affairs, events, etc. that awaited me so that I might quickly escape back to my books, art and stories.

It’s only recently that I’ve discovered how to merge my lives (online, offline and story-based) into something cohesive.   Some of it has come from not having to make so many of these changes in mode on the schedules of others as much as I used to.  It’s incredibly difficult for people on the Autism Spectrum (even those with milder versions of Asperger’s) to move from one frame of thought to another, something I understood intuitively for years but never understood why.

Over the years I used something akin to multitasking where I would only half focus on any one thing at a time so that I could “deal” with those things that jumped in at inconvenient time.  The problem with this technique is of course that everything jumps in at an inconvenient time and that I never got the chance to truly become engrossed in anything that appealed to me.  Oh…  and almost nothing ever got finished.

In comes being a mom and trying to finish up some of the hundreds of half-finished projects that I’ve started over the years*…  I learned early on that I could not be half-focused on my son.  I also could not, for my sanity, be completely separated from my writing.  Everyone needs an outlet for their creative passions, and I tried to force all of my passion into writing at carefully allotted times such as when the Boodle would be napping or later when he was in school.  And that was…

Alley cat printsNow, thanks to my amazing husband, who works from home most of the time, and homeschooling (no more 2 hours of commute each day or administration-based “extras” to deal with), changing mental modes has become easier, not just for me, but for all of us.   We allow ourselves time to flow from task to task more than before.  We permit ourselves the occasional absences, even when in the same room.  And we have spaces to work on things where we’re able to shift gear more smoothly…  memo board, post-it notes, email reminders.

What does this have to do with a ROW80 check-in or anything else?  Not much really–I just realized this after I’d come into a bit of a goal slump that this week also had been one filled with a lot of external changes of focus.  Yes, many of these changes are things I need to deal with or are things I initiated (such as acquiring beta readers for Release), but they are changes nonetheless, and I haven’t fully internalized the processes I need to deal with them.

So I’m behind for this check-in.  There , I said it.  I am behind.  I did not get more than a few hundred words done on my 1,500 a week goal.  I did not visit as many blogs as I wanted (though I did at least reach my minimum).  Exercise and reading were both minimal but there.

I did spend a fair amount of time comparing versions of files from one computer to another and editing photos.

No complaints here–the week was what it was, and it held a nice mix of ups and downs.  It just wasn’t a good week for me to get things done.  I’m okay with that.  I’m also beginning to understand why things happen this way.

So now, let’s go visit some other ROWers, many of whom I’m sure have great news, some of whom are in the same fix as me and others who need some boosting up after real set-backs.

*These projects I do not wish to let slide, because I enjoy them.  I just never seem to have the time to delve into them the way my brain demands.  Some I’ve discussed here such as my drawing and my various stories.  I also have a blanket I’m crocheting, I used to do beadwork and make jewelry, and I’d love to learn painting, sewing and how to cook better.

 

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15 responses to “Reallife interventions…

  1. This actually sounds like a more important discovery than getting to your writing. Good for you, Eden.

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    • It was a really awesome discovery. As my longtime friend Shan often says, a lot of learning happens in the slow, low times. It might be how our brains need to to work…

      Thanks for stopping in, Ann.

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  2. Ebb and flow, Eden. Ebb and flow. It’s a new week. Simply try again. You’ll get there.

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    • Exactly… ebb and flow, rinse, lather repeat… 😉

      Joking aside, it is that, exactly. Thanks for commenting, Ryan. Great to see you around more. Hope your ROW80 is going well…. Guess I’ll find out, since I’m off to your blog next.

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  3. It’s been a few years, for me, and I am still learning how to allow myself the freedom to direct my schedule in a way that suits me, and my family, and to write even if the house is a mess, sleep until afternoon and stay awake until well past dawn…

    I am learning, though…

    That you now know WHY transitions disrupt you, and have some ability to arrange your life to accommodate the needs of you and your family…that makes me happy, because I KNOW what a difference it can make.

    When you trust yourself, you are magnificent! =D

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    • What a difference a few years has brought us both in the way we operate in our lives from the days of our youth! We really are finding our score on the AQ — Awesomeness Quotient of late.

      It’s great to watch your process too, you know. I have learned so many things through observing your “process”, both about myself and you, that it makes peeking at your posts and blogs a regular joy. I’ve enjoyed your chapters (though I am a bit confused at when Aletris actually became sentient–love the concept though!).

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  4. Cate Russell-Cole

    Eden, I think what you’ve said here is totally applicable to ROW80 as it is part of your journey. I relate to your frustration in not being able to get into things as deeply as you would like. I deal with chronic pain and am often blindsided and unable to get things done. It is so annoying! Patience is the key, but hard to put into practice.

    One thing I have learnt, is never take the attitude of “I am behind.” You discourage yourself. ROW80 recognises that real life has its demands and some days, you just can’t achieve all you set your heart one. That’s OK. It is just the way things are for all of us. Acknowledge what you have achieved and move on with optimism.

    We all work in different ways, at different speeds and with different road blocks which clutter our path. You will find your way through. Your determination shows that.

    Wishing you very best in your creative journey.

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    • *nods
      I can see that. It is all about words after all; so yes, I can see how the words “I am behind” could be a self-fulfilling prophecy. I write enough about prophecy in my stories… I don’t need to create ones for my day-today life. 😉

      And I hear you about being able to relate. I’ve seen your posts on the Facebook group and peeked at your blog here and there. Definitely a lot of Is to dot and Ts to cross down in your direction it seems. Bureaucracy… I think more than Global Warming or Nuclear Annihilation, that is how humanity will meet its end.

      Thanks for the cheers and for stopping by.

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      • Cate Russell-Cole

        You’re right about bureaucracy being a world threat! 🙂 Thanks for the lovely follow up comment. Cheers!

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        • Well, thank you for the same. And cheers back at’cha! :-D.

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          • Cate Russell-Cole

            While I have your attention, it looks like Kait has hit some trouble and we have no mid-week check-in. So no one is left out, please come over to our Facebook group and leave a link to your check-in post and we will be over to visit. The page address is https://www.facebook.com/groups/row80/ Alternatively, email me at katiecrcole@gmail.com and I’ll pass your post on. I know Facebook isn’t everyone’s cup of tea!

            Should we have no Linky on Sunday, we’ll just keep working this way until things sort themselves out.

            Cheers!

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          • Cate Russell-Cole

            Kait’s fine, the Linky is up.

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            • I noticed. I actually tend to find most of the blogs I read via the Facebook group or the #row80 hashtag on Twitter. But now that the linky is up… I’m off to go post! =)

              Thanks for keeping up with things though.

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  5. I’m liking your acceptance and your determination. We all have varying levels of ‘success,’ but the reals success is being okay with the outcome as a whole. The war, not the battles, if you like. I know I have to remind myself and often give myself a hard time for stupid things. Lets tap each other on the back. We’re doing just fine 😀

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    • You’re right. It’s the war, not the battles, and despite what the generals may try to tell us, there’s always a chance for a full scale rally that turns the tide of battle, even in the lowest (actually often in the lowest) of moments. *Pat Pat We are doing just fine.

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