Tears — a WIPpet and ROW80 post

WIPpet 6/19/13

Welcome again to another installment of the WIPpet (and a special, End of ROWnd ROW80 post found down here.)
wippetwednesday_zps53e803c0Well, I did a bit a creative WIPpet math again with this post since it seemed pretty rude to keep adding paragraph after paragraph on to these posts just because the calendar says it’s later in the month.  So I’m giving you 25 sentences (19 for the day, 6 more for the month) and six small paragraphs for the numbers 2,0,1 and 3 of the year.

This WIPpet mostly follows directly after the piece I posted last week.  For the first time since they were very young children (before Vissellii was sent to foster at their aunt’s home at age six), ‘Ssellii has heard her brother ‘Listii speak and act as if he’s aware of the world they live in.  She wants to know how their uncle’s DesertWalker maid, Uunsa, was able to make this happen when no one else had been able to reach Valistii in over fifteen years.

‘Ssellii has sent the maid out, not wanting Uunsa’s presence to interfere with her talking to her brother:

Instead, ‘Listii glanced at the floor this time to the place he’d crouched only just before.  Then he shrugged.  “Maybe.”

‘Ssellii didn’t pursue the matter.  It was an answer—probably the only answer he had.  And it was only a distraction anyway.  She wanted to ask what those strange words were before the maid returned.  She nodded then cleared her throat…softly, drawing his attention from his own distress as best as she could. “‘Listii, what does ‘Vesmai luu itau‘ mean?”

Again, the man’s gaze focused on her. The same intensity, the same fierce attention… She again found herself staggered by his reaction, and this time she’d even somewhat expected it.

This time she was able to speak, though it wasn’t at all easy. “Please, ‘Listii, what does it mean?”

He blinked.  Once, then twice.  A small frown covered his lips as he pursed them thoughtfully. “I don’t know.  It’s important.  She told me to never forget.”

“Uunsa,” she said grimly.  She was already dreading that conversation when it came.

“No.”  There was no hesitation in ‘Listii’s voice. Another touch of petulance filled it, this time tinged with disbelief and even anger.  “Uunsa shouldn’t say it.”  His raven-eyed gaze flashed at her.  He continued, scolding. “Not you either.  She said it was for us and no one else.  Just us…”

The petulance, if that’s what it was, collapsed then.  A mournfulness overtook him.  He looked at the floor.  Some kind of murmur overtook his voice, but he couldn’t hear enough to understand what he said.

“What ‘Listii? I didn’t hear—” she stopped short as he looked back up at her.

Tears flowed in rivers down his face.

She blinked. “‘Listii?” Despite her desire to maintain a calm presence she rose and went over to his side. “‘Listii, what’s wrong?  Why are you—don’t cry.  I won’t say that anymore if it makes you sad.”  She dabbed his check with her lap scarf.  “Please don’t cry.  There’s no need to cry.”

Instead of reducing his tears, her words of comfort seemed only to add to his distress, and soon he wasn’t only crying softly but weeping in full torrents.  Weeping, howling, whimpering… tears of something long lost, long destroyed but unforgettable.

And so very much like a child, she thought, a child who felt the world had ended.

English: Tears , often at childhood days. മലയാ...

Tears (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There it is.  I hope you’ve enjoyed your introduction to Valistii and Vissellii.  Next week I will be moving on to two other major players in the Swan Song series.

Creation of K.L. Schwengel at My Random Muse, #WIPpet writers post pieces of a draft (Work In Progress) that somehow relate with the date for commentary and consideration.  Feel free to comment and visit other #WIPpeteers.   We love the company.

ROW80 Check-in

For those of you in the ROW80, you probably are doing something similar to me–that is:

  • looking over your original goals for this ROWnd (mine are here)
  • figuring out places where I met my goals and didn’t
  • planning my course of action for the next ROWnd (no post on that yet)

I have to be honest.  The reassessment that comes at then end of each Round of Words in 80 Days just feels strange.  Perhaps it’s because I’m constantly reassessing my  efforts from check-in to check-in, or perhaps it is because I realize how far my goals have traveled from their original declaration … every time.


quill (Photo credit: Terry Freedman)

At least this time, I can say that I didn’t lose sight so  much as I normally do.  Granted, I’m still somewhat behind, but I’ve made consistent progress on my goals.  I’ve been writing daily, about 2000 words because of the JuNoWriMo, but I also have found a pace again in my 750word.com writing.  Swan Song is coming along wonderfully.  I haven’t dealt much with The Singer, but Courting and Refrain (name??) are both gaining well.  My ROW80 Fitness goals (even rest goals and pursuit of passions) are going extremely well.  I’ve even managed a consistent blogging schedule.

Everything is moving at a steady pace, and I’m not sure where I would change much at this point.

Well, except for Release…  I really need to figure out something to do with Release.

It doesn’t seem to have a home anyplace these days.

It frustrates me.  Release was the very first manuscript I was ever able to put the words “The End” on.  It does need work to even it out (things like starting in the right place, etc.), but it is a good story.

It just no longer fits in the world of these characters.  And beyond a complete rewrite, it never will.  Am I being silly for wishing I didn’t need to go through it with the editorial version of napalm?

Have you been in this place before?  And if so, what did you do?

ROW80LogocopyThe ROW80 Writing Challenge is the brainchild of author Kait Nolan who felt that, in a world of WriMos and FastDrafts, people who want become authors  need something that promoted the daily habit of the writing life.  Feel free to visit some of our other members here.

24 responses to “Tears — a WIPpet and ROW80 post

  1. So now I’m anxious to find out what that phrase means and who the mysterious “she” is. Dang.

    I totally blanked that it’s the end of ROW80. Duh. I’ll have to do a wrap-up Friday, or Sunday, depending when I can squeeze it in. Hmmm, can RELEASE stand alone? Or is it entwined in the others?


    • Well, actually the end of the ROWnd happens today. Just most people did their review check-in on Wednesday. You could still get that post done, Kathi! 😉

      I haven’t figured out how I want to introduce the other players yet. You might still meet her in a WIPpet


  2. Two things you could do with “Release”: create a whole new set of characters, or say that it’s a “prequel” to the rest of the books in the series. I’d go with the latter. Great round! See you next round!


    • I’ve been toying with idea one, John. It would need a bit of rebuilding of the world too, but yeah… it’s definitely on my short list.

      Number two won’t work… It’s set in the future, the far future, but it still doesn’t work with these characters.

      Thanks for the suggestions!


  3. Your ROW80 reflections are comforting in the sense that while we all make progress, it seems our goals do drift. Perhaps we are transformed as our writing changes and deepens. The Weds writing introduces a moving relationship that pulls me right into the story. May the next ROW80 round go equally as well for you.


    • Thank you, Beth, for taking the time to read the WIPpet. It’s nice to know that you found the scene strong and emotionally reaching. And I think you are right… As we grow and progress (in writing as in any life process), our original plans have to drift, or they face the possibility of being left behind as we outgrow them.


  4. Always so gripping to read about a man cry. Good luck figuring out what to do with Release. I ended up shelving (again) my first manuscript that I hoped to revamp as well. Maybe one day…


    • Hmm, I hadn’t actually thought of ‘Listii’s tears here as part of the “man crying” thing, Alana. I guess I’ve been seeing him through ‘Ssellii’s eyes and how she still sees him as a young child (even though he’s an hour older than her).

      As for the manuscript… yeah. I may end up doing that. I have too many other projects on my plate to give it the attention a real rewrite deserves. Maybe someday will come for us both.


  5. Aw poor Listii – and now I want to know what’s behind all this!


    • :hearts; Raewyn. ‘Listii’s troubles have only just started actually. But that’s what we evil authors do to our characters…


  6. I like all the emotion in this WIPpet and I’m interested to know the reasons behind Listii breaking down like that.


    • Thanks, Kate. It’s good to know the emotion wasn’t over the top. It felt right for the situation, but … well, you know how it is. The characters have their ideas, we writers have ours, and the the readers have theirs… And rarely do they all meet.


  7. I print it out, mark it up thoroughly, cut it to pieces, rearrange, put that mess of paper next to my keyboard and start typing in from scratch. 🙂

    It might sound hard, but it’s amazingly liberating, believe me!

    Congrats on all the words recently! I really need to get my head into a creating place again, maybe that will help.


    • It actually does sound kind of liberating, Ruth. I think, once I’ve finished most of the first books of Swan Song, I’ll draw it back out and try that. It seems wrong though at the moment to try such drastic measures if I can’t devote a fair amount of time to it.

      And thank you for the encouragement. I’ll be honest… the creating space has been hard won and I don’t always hold it. But I keep sallying up the hill…


  8. The first thing that I actually completed I self-published pretty much right away. But I have had attachment to other stories that weren’t going anywhere. Based on your post & responses to comments, it sounds like you just need to put RELEASE away for a while. Maybe your Muse will strike you with a brilliant idea for what to do with it and you’ll take it out again, or maybe you’ll march ahead with other projects and never come back to it. Either way is okay, in my opinion. Maybe RELEASE has served its purpose – being the first thing you finished. It has a place of honor in your heart.


    • I do like how you mentioned that Release may have served its purpose already, Sione. Not that I am sure I do want to put it away and leave it there, but… honestly the possibility never even occurred to me. It’s another option, and I hadn’t even considered it. Thank you.

      At the moment, I think it will be sitting, resting, my mind will keep drawing it out on occasion, and I may end up reworking it with a new focus.

      Just out of curiosity though, did you find publishing your first story quickly that way having any negative effects? Or are you happy with your decision?


  9. Poor Listii! I wonder what those words mean and why they upset him so much!


  10. Long term maybe? The first story I wrote with The End at the end – lived for over 20 years in a box – going through three house moves and a whole change of my life – I loved that book; it was wrong, it was going nowhere, but I never gave up and when this dratted mess of a fourth in the sefuty series is sorted and done – Blue Moon in its new incarnation will be the WIP next year. Let yours rest until the right time comes for it – and you’ll have a humdinger:) keep smiling:)


    • Alberta, you’re echoing something that I’ve been slowly coming to accept. Waiting a bit longer, finishing (or at least getting Swan Song in a state where I can submit it for some professional review [I am intending on sending the series for real editing whether I self-pub or try traditional because I know my tendency to skim past things I’m familiar with])… There is a place for Release out there, I’m sure of that. I just need to give it a chance to reveal itself, I guess.

      Glad to hear you are digging out Blue Moon (and glad to hear the story behind it…somewhat)!


  11. I’m pleased that you enjoyed my post on “Swords, Specters, & Stuff.” You’re always welcome there.


    • It was upbeat, cheery… and it featured August, who I think is just an awesome lady. Thanks for posting it, Mike.

      And thank you for stopping in here.