What She Deserves — a WIPpet post


For today’s WIPpet, I’m drifting over to Singer of the Swan Song to introduce you to Atyr, one of the “big three” players in the series as well as Ytramli, who is actually one of my favorite characters in the series, despite his “minor” role (and we all know how these minor characters tend to take on worlds of their own–Ytramli was taking over stories long before ‘Listii and Vissellii were).

Included here for my WIPpet math are 26 sentences from what is the 3rd section of the draft.  Why the 3rd, you ask?  Well it’s the 6th month; the numbers in the year 2013 add up to 6; 12 was just too much, imho, and 6 didn’t take both parts into account, but dividing one out did…  thus 3 or the 3rd section.

Now how is that for some convoluted math?

Her aches, she realized, were not from a beating. Surely it was well past the time for her to have received one. She remembered too well her poor behavior of earlier.

Another person spoke, this time with the voice of her servant Shenta: “I understand, Ytramli but it is not our place to correct the Sieress. Or the Temple Mothers. Now put those away. The Singer has assured me that the girl won’t suffer worse than she deserves–“

“Deserves, Mother?”  The voice was very different from any that Atyriia had ever heard before, a depth to it that did not fade even in the heightened pitch of the speaker’s clear distress. “Deserves? She deserves to be beaten for speaking? For touching the door to her room? You know what Father says about the Singers and what they do to girls, Mother. He calls their behavior an affront to the Bright Star.”

Free Angelic Sad Arcadia Child Under Veil Crea...

Atyriia didn’t dare open her eyes. She had already done so much wrong–to look into the face of a stranger, to acknowledge someone new without the guidance of the fortress Singer… No more punishment than she would deserve was a very generous thought, but she knew what she deserved. Death would be the best thing to stop the willful shell she held for the High Mother since it clearly could not be trained to the expectations of the Bright and Her Faithful. Better death than further disgrace.

“That will be quite enough, Ytramli. What your father and his heathen fellows believe means nothing here to her or anyone else in the fortress. The Temple Mother ruled that Atyriia should not have contact with things that have not been given a special ritual cleansing or preparation blessing. It’s not your place or mine to correct the Temple Edicts.” There was a movement, a leisurely swish of fabric that suggested the movement of the woman as Shenta walked, though Atyriia still did not dare look to see if the distant edge to the woman’s voice meant that the two were leaving. “Now begone with your foolishness, child. I have work that must be done, and this chatter of yours is not letting me any peace to do it in.

Maintained and promoted by K.L. Schwengel at My Random Muse, #WIPpet writers post pieces of a draft (Work In Progress) that somehow relate with the date for commentary and consideration.  Feel free to comment and visit other #WIPpeteers.   We love the company.

Not a ROW80 Check-In

We’re on break between Round(s) of  Words in 80 Days, so there is no check-in today.  I do have a change of plans to announce, however.  Inspired by reading I did yesterday and my own heart’s tug (so to speak), I will be moving this blog to something along the lines of a “Slow Blog” format.   I need to write my manifesto (a project for this summer), and I still need to see how my changes work  in the ROW80 format of two check-ins per week.

ROW80LogocopyYou see, if it wasn’t for the ROW80, I’d be posting only once or twice a month.  I’ve always felt that way, but I tried to adjust my inner nature to suit the format of a project that in many, many other ways I find incredibly helpful and inspiring.  However…  this one part just doesn’t work for me.  Most non-fiction writing stresses me out (including post lik this one).  They slow my fiction writing down to a stagger and crawl until I need the force of a challenge like a NaNoWriMo to force me to spew words onto a page.

Thing is, I don’t know many–if any–, people who can maintain a Writing Month pace month after month, day after day, are rare beasts.  Life has a habit of interfering; editing needs to be done (and sometimes isn’t thoroughly enough)….

So, I’m reducing my blogging schedule to better suit my needs and nature.

  • I enjoy the Friday Photo blogs, but after this excursion to England is over, I will be shifting that to a “First Friday Photo” piece, making it a once a month feature.
  • Wednesdays will pretty much stay the same.  I love participating in the WIPpet posts, and as many WIPpeteers seem to be ROW80 members, it makes sense to keep my posts combined for the two projects.   (I think…  feel free to offer other opinions in the comments; I would appreciate some input.)
  • Sunday posts will be going away.  I will, instead, make a check-in via Facebook/Twitter (I have them linked, though that is starting to seem like a problem).  Just a few words…

So that will be it…. one post a week every week, and one extra photoblog post each month.  I want to get these stories into a format for publication, and I want to give more time and energy to enjoying other people’s blogs instead of feeling I need to race off to post my own.  The racing isn’t me.  The posting isn’t me.

This format is closer to me.  With it, I intend to honor both the intention of the ROW80 and my own needs better.   Because life is compromise and negotiation…  and finding what works.

Stay tuned for changes and updates.  😀

Photography credit

  • Free Angelic Sad Arcadia Child Under Veil Creative Commons (Photo credit: © 2006-2013 Pink Sherbet Photography)


14 responses to “What She Deserves — a WIPpet post

  1. Yeah, I took June off all blogging except for WIPpets. Can’t imagine not doing those! I liked your excerpt. Definitely sounds like an intriguing plot you’re working on!


    • There is something pretty addictive about these WIPpets… I totally understand your desire to not stop posting these.

      And thank you, Alana. I would like to think it is an intriguing plot. I guess we’ll see as it continues…


  2. That’s an interesting excerpt. I love it when characters fake sleeping/unconsciousness. Interesting stuff happens and you get to know stuff that you wouldn’t necessarily if they were known to be awake.

    And, I get why you are cutting back on blogging. Personally, I only do Wednesday ROW80 check-ins. (The first round I did ROW80 in I did both, but cut down after that.) I used to do 3 days a week blogging, but increased it to 5 not long ago… Oh, you got me really thinking.


    • Thanks, Gloria. I actually always dread writing scenes like this. The faking unconsciousness/sleep thing feels cliche… though in Atyr’s case, except for her eyes being closed, this experience is normal for her. She’s been raised to be “invisible” to those around her to the point of being “moved from place to place” like furniture in a room when she’s in the way.

      As for the blogging… I think you have to go with what fits you. This seems much closer to me than most anything else, and even this schedule is a “Work in Progress”. 😀


  3. Nice WIPpet – I love it when someone is the voice of reason. I can see why Ytramli is a favourite. Those side-characters are often story stealers!


    • Oh, but is he the voice of reason?

      For what Atyr is, and what she is meant to be, she’s actually being very reasonable, and so is Shenta. Ytramli is the one who is trying to overthrow a system that has worked well for centuries… 😀


  4. Ooh, nice excerpt! I can tell you’ve got some really developed mythology/religion that these characters adhere to.


  5. So glad you’re keeping WIPpet Wednesdays. 🙂 I totally hear you on the blogging. At the beginning of the year I tried to keep up a hardy pace, even scheduled posts weeks in advance. Then spring eventually came around, time became more of a commodity, projects screamed to get done . . . blogging is the first thing I cut.

    Love the excerpt. You’ve got several layers of tension building. Intrigue. Good characterization. All things to make me want to keep turning the page.


    • Finding balance in any process like this is a matter of trial and error. It’s all well and good to listen to people who’ve been doing it for a while, but they are themselves, not you, not me… We have to find our our paths and style. And thinking about the blogs I like to read, the decision was an obvious one for me. Your needs, especially with books to sell, may be different.

      And thanks for the kind words on the excerpt, Kathi. I’m glad you liked it.


  6. ‘Begone with your foolishness…’ I loved that line. And aren’t ‘minor’ characters sometimes the best, surprising you with how quirky/great/entertaining/memorable they can be. I’m glad you’ve settled on what you feel is the right amount of blogging each month – sometimes it’s difficult to get it just right. Glad WIPpet Wednesdays are to stay. 🙂


    • I think our (so called) minor characters usually are the stars that make the skies truly bright.

      Yes.. there are the “special ones” like the sun and the moon, but the sun blocks out everything in the sky except itself (and the clouds, which are more like the distractions of life that keep us from reading).

      The moon? When it gets full of itself, it can monopolize things too. And yet, we do like to have it around… Just enough to see the rich velvet tapestry behind it… one that hints a a multitude of worlds just beyond what we see.

      (Okay… that might be stretching the metaphor… a lotbit.)

      Yeah… blogging. Well, I want to have some fun with it too. The non-fiction pieces, the parts that forced me out of my writer -mind… they weren’t fun. Now maybe if I was getting paid to blog… 😉


  7. I can understand the slow blog format. I tend to find it easier to one update a week most of the time, but every now and then I’ll get the energy and try to update more.

    I’m very intrigued by the world this WIPpet takes place in. Temple Mothers? Seers? Singers? What did Atyr do that deserves punishment?


    • Hmm, I don’t know if I would just add updates if I had a pattern for posting only once a week. Consistency seems to make more sense. What sort of experiences have you had with changing gears that way, Christina?

      As for the excerpt… Glad to know it’s intriguing you (only fair since you keep taunting is with The Undying Ones 😉 ). I did have Ytramli say exactly what Atyr did. She touched her door, and she spoke. Atyr’s situation is… different.