Wrong — a WIPpet/Row80 post


Another Wednesday, more to write, more to share…  It’s time for another WIPpet post and ROW80 check-in.


Going back again in time from last week’s post Coming Change, we now learn why Atyr’s mother chose to involve herself directly in Atyr’s religious training.  This WIP, like all those this month, comes from Singer of the Swan Song.

I give you 8 paragraphs today for the 31st of July. If you’d me to explain that WIPpet math, consider July is the 7th month of 2013. 7+2+0+1+3=13 Add that to 31 for 44.  4+4=8

She heard Singer Lassau working the rituals, knew the woman was deeply connected with the Unity and Watch that tied all Her Faithful, and that the Faithful were supporting Lassau so that she might gain counsel from High Mother Masorii.  Indeed, she heard, the change in Lassau’s voice as Masorii’s voice came through her flesh, as well as she knew the change in the Singer’s eyes and flesh as it was filled for a moment with the power of Her Watch and Voice.  She knew when Masorii’s gaze lay upon her flesh and when Lassau looked out of those eyes instead.

“I see nothing wrong with the Vessel, Lassau.”  The echo of Lassau’s own voice within the Great Mother’s made those words sound reed-like and distant, but the strength of purpose behind them was unmistakable.

The Great Mother’s presence eased back to allow Her Singer to respond, and because, as Atyriia knew, to maintain such a connection was draining to all but the most prepared.  Even a Vessel could not hold the Voice for any amount of time without harm.  It took the careful ritual of Fulfillment to complete the Vessel for holding the Voice from then on.

Sweat had broken out on Lassau’s brow, a sure sign of how taxing this counsel was for her.  To risk continuing this contact longer, proved how deeply concerned the woman was at the state of things.  She truly felt the need was great enough that she was willing to risk her life.

“It wept, Great Mother.  It spoke, it moved–it acts with its own will.  The Vessel is tainted.”


Sadness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Atyriia noted this, but for some reason, now it did not matter to her.  Little did.  She knew what she had done now; she knew the folly of her actions.  She had spurned a gift of true fulfillment in Her Peace for the chance to be the one Vessel that would bring the Voice to Her People.  She had chosen the position of pride, of vanity in the belief that what she had to offer meant so much more than what any other could offer.  She had chosen unwisely.  She had proven herself unworthy even of the place she had sought, for surely the Voice could not find refuge within the walls of flesh that a trainer as foolish as she made.

Finally she had been subjected to one of those many tests of her desire to truly serve the Goddess in all ways, even those beyond the flesh that all bore upon the earth, and she had failed.  She had chosen to serve the flesh that was the Great Mother, not the Voice that filled the woman.

She felt the tears start again, and she let them, letting her head fall freely from where she’d been ordered to hold it for her inspection.  She no longer cared anymore.  Everything she had chosen was tainted with pride and folly.  Best she not bother to pretend anymore.  The sooner the Great Mother saw how wrong her choice of Vessel was, the better.

“See you now, Great Mother,” Lassau cried.  The triumph of having been proven right burst free from the woman’s lips thunderously.

Maintained and promoted by K.L. Schwengel at My Random Muse, #WIPpet writers post pieces of a draft (Work In Progress) that somehow relate with the date for commentary and consideration.  Feel free to comment and visit other #WIPpeteers.   We love the company.


ROW80LogocopyThis past week has been a down week for me.  I’ve been more in a reading mode than a writing one, and while I’m managing my five sentences five days a week, I have not accomplished much more than that.

The complete mental drain of almost three NaNoWriMo challenges in a row has basically left me feeling this overwhelming need to replenish my creative reserves.  I’m taking my time and working on things slower, reading and watching some more shows I’ve meant to catch up on (Fringe, Grey’s Anatomy, Hannibal and House), and re-reading Lisanne Norman’s Sholan Alliance series and re-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I’ve taken some notes as I do the re-reading/watching.  Both these series keep drawing me back to them.  I’m trying to see why.  I could be the fact that I’m a huge fan of huge story arcs with several subplots and large casts of supporting characters…  No, that doesn’t quite fit Buffy.   It has the huge story arcs, but the subplots are simple and the supporting cast is limited.

See?  I’ve got my hands full here.  😉  Well, for the moment, it’s far more important to consider these things than worry about the fact that I’m not making my (much reduced) CampNaNoWriMo goal this month.  (Actually, I have to do my validation today of my typed pieces…  I may be there already.)

Other projects?  Well, I met another local author, Irene Pough, at the Green County Youth Fair.  Her book is a mystery, suspense novel that looks interesting.

And I’m getting a bit more exercise in because of fellow ROW80 Fitness member, Stephanie Nickel.  She is encouraging all of us to set an August Thirty Day challenge of things we want to change in our lives that we will act on for August.  I haven’t thought of a list yet.  But if I get my head together by tonight, I’ll be posting it in the  Facebook thread.  Either way, I’m definitely going to add more exercise to my day.

What would you change for one month to help improve your health and fitness?

12 responses to “Wrong — a WIPpet/Row80 post

  1. Lassau sounds none too worthy herself, arguing and all. 🙂


    • Lassau is a … well, I won’t insult female dogs with my opinion of her, but if there was a character I didn’t like, it would be her. And yet… she’s so much fun to write! 😀


  2. Wow. How moving and sad is that.


  3. I could really feel the weight of the world on her shoulders particularly in that second to last paragraph.

    Some weeks can be slow when it comes to writing but it’s good to get a lot of reading done. Hope you have a great and productive few days this coming week. 🙂


    • They weren’t really productive days–though I got a lot more reading done! Amazing what not having any intenet xan do for one. 🙂


  4. Loving these excerpts for the meme. Just hopped over from Shan’s and your’s is also good. I’m a little choked! :”D

    Keep going Eden.

    Shah X



    • You should join the WIPpets, Shah. I think you’d have a lot of fun with the group, and it’ll help during those “I’m blocked moments” we all have. (Knowing I have to have something ready for Wednesday helps urge me on even during dull days.)

      Thanks for stopping over and visiting, and sorry about the delay replying. For some reason I thought I’d replied and hadn’t.


  5. Sys,

    I love this WIPpet SNIPpet – and your math!

    There seems to be a renegade comma or two wandering around the first paragraph, but, other than that, it’s lovely.

    The feeling in this is deep and desperate. I’ve known that feeling a time or two -when Tim died, and when Elijah did.

    You conveyed a lot in those paragraphs!

    I’m betting the time spent watching things and reading things will evolve back into writing, in its own time. Always does, for me. I used to feel guilty, and like I was wasting time; now I know it is a part of my process, and things are better when I trust it.

    And a big kudos on finishing your NaNo – again!

    By the way, i think you’ll appreciate this bit of birthday-week kismet. Your post landed on both my ROW80 list and came up on my WIPpet list – at the same time! Now, that’s cool. =)

    We have Cameron this weekend, and Lise’s party on Monday. Think we could get together the following Tuesday, for coffee and chatter?


    • The WIPmath for this post was probably my most creative yet… Now I have to think up something even more cool. Someday…

      Thanks for the hint about the renegade comma (or two). The piece feels very raw to me still, as if I still am not getting to the heart of of Atyr’s (or Masorii’s) heartbreak, but I’m not sure how to relate that yet. Glad something is coming through well.

      Yeah, the NaNo actually surprised me. I felt for sure when I dropped down to my daily minimum I was going to plummet wordcount-wise too. I did, but not nearly as badly as I’d feared.

      The timing did end up being a bit of coolness. I don’t think that could have worked out better if I’d planned for it. Though I do have to wonder if I might have been adding too much during your busy week…. Sounds like you had some good experiences though anyway.


  6. What a great moment (for the reader!) of awful self-realisation for your character. This will take a lot of work for her to come back from.

    One day I’ll get around to watching the final season of Fringe (it was one of my favourite shows and I watched it religiously, but then my interested just waned for some reason) and the rest of Buffy. I think after 3 NaNo challenges in a row, though, you deserve some downtime!


    • Hmm, sounds like your interest waned about the same time mine did… I wonder if it was the show after all. (I’d kind of allowed Life to interfere at the time too).

      As for Atyr’s realization… I think we’ve all done things of this sort, so it’s something we all can relate to… those moments of hubris that we think originally are “the right thing” to do. Thanks for the comment, Emily.