Carriage Ride – a WIPpet/ROW80 post

Yay!  Time for another WIPpet post and ROW80 check-in.
Today is the 28th of August, so here are 28 sentences from my Was Variation fanfic.  Please, enjoy and comment, if you choose.

As  I’ve said before, the Was Variation involves characters from Swan Song “all growed up” (so to speak).  All fanfics are ways to explore the fictional worlds of other writers we enjoy.  Some writers write stories based on their own inner desires, some write fanfiction to see if they can do as well as their heroes or to explore fully those characters that were only touched on in the original work.

I like to create back story and histories for secondary characters.

If you were to write a fanfiction, what reason would you be doing it for?

(No fancy WIPpet math today…  sorry.)

Atyriia drove the carriage to her home. She spent the ride in silence. The blue-green crystal ribbon of road offered an oceanic calm to her tired mind. Even the cacophony of wildflowers bordering their route came off as soothing, a distraction from the mental contact that hounded her. Desperate to feel alone within her mind, to know her thoughts once more belonged to her only, she avoided looking at the towering hedge of black roses that blocked further views of the world and the fields she knew lay beyond them.

Soon the castle appeared in their sights. Actually two buildings made one, a bridge connected the second story of each unit. To her mind, its crystalline transparency made plain her failure to confirm a bond between family and duty. The white walls and lofty gilt turrets of her family abode stood in naked contrast to the gray walls and silent stone faces of the statue-line balconies of her administrative halls.

She watched as Gillian raised an eyebrow at the architecture. She understood the feeling. She’d designed the place, yet it struck her as madness unrestrained as well.

As they entered the courtyard, the man’s curiosity turned. Were she still inclined to resume his long neglected lessons, she might have started with reminding the man to not shudder at another’s artistic fancy. But the truth was that she’d specifically requested it all, even the fountain as it was, to gain such a reaction. A pity it never worked on the ones she’d designed it for.

Español: Lobo en el zoo de Kolmården (Suecia).

Lies… All of it lies. She gazed at the water fixture taking in the soft-worn figures; lioness, she-wolf, and woman. Though she had intended the she-wolf as her essence made manifest in the way the lioness was AJenna’s, too often she saw herself as the woman who lay prone as fangs rent her flesh in the eternity that was stone.

“One of your folk legends?” the wizard asked as he motioned to the fountain.

“Somewhat. The power of the animus and the frailty of the flesh… To remember our place in the designs of Nature humbles us.” She twitched the reins of the team then pulled back lightly. The horses slowed to a stop, dancing lightly, the left one nipping at his teammate. “Ho, Gishan,” she chided the beast. “Save that for the fields.”

The young stallion turned his head and gave her a wide-toothed nicker. She imagined the creature’s reply: ‘I’ll be ready then too.

K.L. Schwengel at My Random Muse hosts the WIPpet Wednesdays where writers post pieces of a draft (Work In Progress) that somehow relate with the date for commentary and consideration.  Feel free to comment here, and visit other #WIPpeteers at our linky.  We love company.



Getting back on track after a conference where I had given myself permission to not write, to not blog,… to not worry amount anything online for the several days of the Northeast Unschooling Conference.  This year my husband came with my son and I to the conference–a situation that changes the mental dynamic of anything I do outside the house.  I’m not complaining; I am glad he came and glad we had more family time together…  It’s just that a convention interferes with my head.  A convention where my seven-year old son comes along adds its own level of stress and disruption….

A conference where I’d hoped my very introverted and skeptical husband might see why I feel attracted to the Unschooling philosophy I knew would be more than my little head needed to handle even without trying to think coherently about writing or editing or blogging or…

Instead of writing or anything else…  I read my book in stolen moments and retired to the desk in our hotel room with headphones in my laptop to watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Ghost Hunt.  I watched about two hours of videos this weekend and read about twenty pages of my books.

However, over the four days of the convention and the picnic the day after, I got a lot of exercise scurrying down hallways between our room where my husband was hiding was all the other convention attendees and the rest of the hotel where our son was running around with other kids, playing in elevators (though he wasn’t, as far as I can discover, one of the ones who was playing with the emergency brakes on the elevators)…. and performing a dance routine for the talent show.

Yeah…  it was one of those weekends.  Lots of fun, lots of really awesome stuff and a lot of stress at the same time….  I love conventions.  Conventions are energizing, awakening experiences.  They’re also the most exhausting things I participate in on a semi-regular basis.

365: day 9

I’m rested up now.  I got three of my five sentences done.  Times to finish this post so I can get the other two done, and maybe more…..

And tomorrow, I’ll be doing my WIPpet visits, my sponsor visits, and… writing, editing and beta-reading a fellow writer’s book.   Progress, delays, progress again…

So how was your week?

Photo credits:

  • Español: Lobo en el zoo de Kolmården (Suecia). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
  • 365: day 9 (Photo credit: Nick in exsilio)

16 responses to “Carriage Ride – a WIPpet/ROW80 post

  1. I love the interplay of the horses. Also, Atyriia’s reflection on how she feels more like the helpless victim in the arrangement of statues — it’s very revealing.

    If I were to write fanfic I think it would be to further explore bits of the story the writer didn’t give us — to expand on characters I think could be more…


    • So pretty much the same reason I write fanfiction… I’ve always felt that stories are built on the secondary characters. I like to write about them too.

      If you’re ever inspired, I bet you’d write an awesome fanfic, Kathi.

      And though I’m glad you liked the interplay of the animals… they aren’t horses. Not that you could see the scene about 2 pages before this where Atyr’s step-daughter was feed the animals bits of dried meat, but that wide toothed grin the stallion is showing is all fang.


  2. Lovely descriptions and sense of place in this extract from the scenery leading up to the castle to the interaction of the horses.

    I’ve never thought about writing fanfic but I can definitely see the appeal.


    • I think we all have to find the things that inspire our muses. For myself, fanfiction is exploration in a place that oddly doesn’t bother my characters…. it’s like play acting or dress up games. And yes, I am talking about my characters as if they were people… hope you don’t mind, but they feel very real to me when I write them. I think they have to

      Thanks for the kind words, Kate. I hope I’ve gotten the right sense of Atyr’s helpless feelings across, especially for a scene that is just past one where her own children are attributing her with near god-like powers.


  3. Naughty stallion. Keep your nips to yourself.

    How profound to design a fountain to represent yourself and someone else as powerful, only to realize the one that really represents you is the victim. *hemming, hawing, philosophizing*

    The only times I’ve been tempted to write fan-fiction have all been moments of hubris, I think. For example, sometimes I’d like to “fix” parts of Notre Dame of Paris. This may stem mostly from making the mistake of reading the introduction, which stunk. I also have times when I fantasize about finishing The Mystery of Edwin Drood. I don’t know that that’s hubris so much as frustration over not knowing the ending, but I’m aware it’s ridiculous to think I can match Dickens.


    • That doesn’t sounds like hubris (well, maybe the thing about Notre Dame of Paris is). I’m not an expert on fanfiction, but it seems to me that the majority of shows and books that gather fanfictions tend to be open-ended or are at a mid-point in a long story line…

      As in, people want more but it isn’t there, and being tool-users that we are, we “fix” that problem by giving ourselves more fill in the empty spaces, be that some backstory of a favorite secondary character or a story to fill in the middle of the in-between seasons time (or in-between publication time), etc..

      Oh, I don’t know… I think the stallion is cute (he’s just being friendly 😀 ). As for the fountain.. I suspect a lot of monuments are designed that way. The history of the Wellington Arch in London would probably be an example too.


      • Notre Dame of Paris really is my “I think I can do this better, but I should probably not say that out loud,” book. 😛 It may be because

        I understand why people like to write fan-fiction. It’s not my thing, but I know several people who take great pleasure in writing it, one of whom uses Star… um… Wars, pretty sure, fan-fic to bond with her father, which I think is awesome. 🙂

        I probably should have put a 😛 after my naughty stallion scold. 🙂


        • *giggles* I totally understand, ReGi. You have to write what draws you. And what amuses you… My fan fiction amuses me. If it doesn’t amuse or appeal to you, that’s great because it means something else does.

          And I understood the stallion joke of course. It’s the way of things… 😀


  4. My fan fiction is always character study/missing scene-type stuff. I’m very big on exploring how a non-POV character would be thinking in a scene, or what came immediately after a scene that the worst didn’t explore.

    I really love the juxtaposition between Atyriia’s intentions for the statue and how she often felt it represented her.


    • Sounds like you and I write fanfiction for very similar reasons, Emily. It’s definitely an intellectual exercise for me, exploration and perspective. It’s fun, but that’s why it’s fun.

      Thank you. Atyr’s definitely in a contemplative mood right now.


  5. I homeschooled our three for a total of 14 years. Much of that time was spent in what could be deemed more of an unschooling atmosphere. There were challenging times, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. All the best with this . . . and your writing endeavours. TTFN


    • Fourteen years, Stephanie? Sounds great. Our son had decided last year he wanted some part-time school to be with a more regular bunch of kids (there were a lot of “no-shows” at our local homeschool gatherings). We’re doing 3 days a week this year by his choice. He’s much more enticed by the school world (and college… at 7 years old, he already has decided he wants to go to Bard College for music and RPI and Union for science).

      And me? I miss him.


  6. This feels more in Atyr’s skin than any of the others I’ve read here. You capture her evocatively, and in stunning imagery….

    I think it may be because you brought so much of yourself to the passage, with the architecture and the not-horses….oh, and the wildflowers, and the carriage ride, too…

    Brava! This breathed life from the screen, and I’m feeling just a little breathless, wanting to whisk in and give her some hope, or at least tell her she’s doing a great job of holding it all together…


    • There is a thing I read about in fiction writing that got me thinking on how much our characters might be elements of ourselves that we haven’t explored fully, which led to this scene… You probably remember the actually objects from our response folder days, but the perceptions they bring are solely from exploring what drew me to them.

      I have a scene I wrote for Alanii in Swan Song a few weeks ago that mirrors this one in a sense. It’s not the same by any stretch, but… Both scenes evoke the same thing from me. Maybe I should post that too….


  7. I’m not a huge fanfic person but loved your take. Bravo. You breathed life into the scene!

    Wishing you a fabulous ROW week Eden.


    • Thanks, Raelyn. It’s always extra high-praise to get such a compliment from a person who isn’t fond of the genre in the first place.

      You too… with brownies. 😀