ST4S – Avoidance

theater-curtains-green-velvet-right-trompe-l-oeiltheater-curtains-green-velvet-left-trompe-l-oeilI’ve been avoiding you.

It’s not personal, believe me.  I’ve avoided most everyone lately.

My emotional plate has overflowed recently.  Some of it is because of the many things that tend to pile up around this time of the year by default.  A lot of it is a sense of foreboding that I cannot explain, but I’ve felt growing for several months now.  Some of it is seasonal changes.  Some of it has been being sick (the last two Wednesdays I’ve been pummeled with various “icks”).  Some of it is a sense of loss.  Some, a sense the world is spinning out of control…

And some of it is avoidance…  simple avoidance and escapism.

I’m sorry for that later.   But I’m still going to avoid you all for a few more days.

It’s personal.  But it’s not.

Walk Away

Walk Away (Photo credit: DavidB123)

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4 responses to “ST4S – Avoidance

  1. I call it my hermit phase. I disconnect from everyone and everything. It happens two or three times a year for me. *hugs* I’ve missed ya, but there’s no pressure.

    When I have those “Everything is spinning out of control” moments (hours, days, weeks?), I focus on what I can control. Some days I can only manage making to make a decision about what to eat for lunch (strangely enough, sometimes even that choice is overwhelming), but it’s a start. I make a decision and force myself to do it even though I’d much rather cover my head with a blanket and stay there until the world gets right again.

    If you want to try and see if it helps, find one thing you can control right now (like your blog post today :D. Just make sure it’s within reason LOL), put all of your focus on it, and complete it. You may not feel better right then, but the more often you do these things, the greater your sense of stability and relief will be.

    Either way…*hugs* See you when you feel like re-engaging. We’ll be here. 😀

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    • I wish that getting that blog post out felt like finishing something. Mostly it was to allow myself to not feel guilty for being away from things for so long.

      This morning though I finished the “big thing” that was holding me back for so long. I feel ready to take on the world for a while now.

      And because of nice people like you, Dawn, I feel better about how I got it done too. Thank you!

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  2. Sometimes you simply need to put yourself first. Take care Eden. x

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