City Square — a WIPpet/ROW80 post

ROW80 Check-in

Since it’s the only the beginning of this ROW80 round, there isn’t much to update.  I posted my goals in (what should have been) this Sunday’s post Missing Monday.  How did I do?

  • Semi-check (fiction writing only yesterday),
  • plotted out list of missing scene… so Check
  • writing this now…so Check,
  • surpassed minimum by landslide
  • some activity but I sprained my ankle so less than I hoped
  • I didn’t add more stuff, but…
  • added more stuff to go through  😦
  • Made time for a LOT of this….  Double Check!

Nice momentum…  Now to maintain it.


One outdoor room

One outdoor room

I played with the WIPpet maths today and found many ways to achieve my choice of four paragraphs.  The one I like the best is 8 = 2*2*2 or 2 to the power of 3.  The three comes from 14 (1-4 though I’m ignoring the negative).  1 for the month over 2 makes ½, and ½ of 8 is 4.  Yeah, I was feeling twisty today…

Anywho, until further notice (i.e. I say I’m taking an emotional break), all WIPets will be coming from Courting the Swan Song.  These four paragraphs come early in the book, around the second chapter:

Alanii looked about the place, sheltered as it was by the tall stucco and timber buildings—at least two floors and a balcony to each that leaned out to further enclose the space. It felt warm and welcoming even in the dreary mist-filled air, sharing a touch of the main courtyard of Far-Ancaniia, though his homeland’s great city did not support such a place solely for the gathering of women, excepting those who came to gather water for their daily chores.

Several fosterling clutches sat in rooms about the great fountain, a magnificent work of both carving and pipes. Alanii could see the Great Star of his own famed ancestor Kieri Rayestra, being supported by the firelizard of House Harnii as it rode the waves of House Lanii. He pursed his lips and glanced over to his escort, wondering if they had gathered the symbolism as he had. And if so, what did they think of their oath to the House that needed raising up by the rest?

Their party paused on the main roadway just before they entered the square. It had been easy enough to see that Vissellii was nervous about approaching her class and needed a moment to gather herself. She didn’t say so, nor had she let much more than a brief show of uncertainty alter her calm mien, but Alanii had been watching for the break in her calm and he knew what the quick, flash of tension that ran through her body and made her almost, but not quite begin to clutch his hand meant.

So as they drew up to the gathering place, he began to look around the courtyard more carefully. Though well into the Nooning rest period several dainhouses remained open, he wasn’t sure he dared suggest one without some input from his men. This was their purview. The last time he’d been to any city, his mother and father could still carry him against the hip and have a hand free to point at the sights.

Hugs and lattes to K.L.Schwengel the WIPpet goddess.  If you want to read other ‘pets, head over to our linky to visit the whole crew.

21 responses to “City Square — a WIPpet/ROW80 post

  1. Some nice imagery going on here. And I like his insights into Vissellii, his observations of her mood and how she portrays it.

    Sounds like you’ve been hitting your goals these past couple days. Good job!


    • Thanks, Kathi. When you have one character “talking” about another, there’s always a risk of it coming off as unbelievable.

      And… well, yeah, I was… :-/


  2. How old are Alanii and Visselliii? I always pictured them as twenties or so, but going to school makes me think of younger ages.

    I like how Alanii can sense Visselli’s feelings even where no one else would be able to see any change in her. 🙂


    • You were right about their ages. Ssellii is actually older than Alanii by a few years, but there’s a genetic quirk to these people that means her family definitely don’t want her unchaperoned at such a “young age”. Her school situation is more of a “place for unmarried women to stay and still be considered eligible for a proper marriage”.

      Alanii’s quite sensitive to her feelings… 😀


  3. Woah! You totally lost me with your twisty WIPpet maths! (Never my strongest subject at school.)

    Lovely scene-setting in that first paragraph. I also got a good sense of Alanii feeling a little bit out of his depth being in a city for the first time since he was little.


    • Sorry about losing you on the WIPpet maths labyrinth. *tosses Kate a ball of twine* My suggestion is “Turn Left”.

      Glad you liked the piece, Kate. I hope the scene felt balanced enough. I worry about spending too much time staring at the trees or in my characters’ heads.


  4. You paint such a great picture of your world – lots of depth in the descriptions!


  5. Cate Russell-Cole

    One thing you will never find me doing is playing with maths! LOL. Good on you Eden. It’s great to see you working your way forward… and it’s so lovely to be rowing again!

    The very best of luck to you in 2014. I hope it’s the year when dreams come true.


    • Playing with maths is kind of second nature to me (one of my degrees is in mathematics).

      Thanks for your well wishes, Cate. It’s good to have you back too.


  6. You are rockin’!!!! Great job! Keep up the momentum. 😀


  7. Lots of great images and scene setting without being boring. Way to go.


  8. Looks like you’re making progress!

    What is the WIPpet? Just curious. 😉


    • I am making progress. Not as much as I’d like, but progress… (I always feel extra ambitious at the beginning of the year, but this year seems more wishy-washy than usual.

      A WIPpet is a sample of a work in progress where the excerpt is somehow related to the date it’s being posted. K.L.Schwengel hosts the group for us and maintains the linky list we post our entries at. We’re a very welcoming group with a lot of diverse writers and interests. Feel free to peek around. Thanks for visiting, Erin.


  9. Sys,

    Good job on those goals.

    About the WIPpet…

    Your math makes my head swirly, although I loved the two cubed part.

    I like the descriptions,and Alanii’s awareness of Visselii and her body language. I like his thoughts….

    But the scene feels somehow…detached? hat might not quite be the feeling I get….but I think I would like to feel some of what Alanii is feeling about what Visselii is feeling…

    I want there to be some direct interaction, I guess, rather than only exposition. Of course, there might be lots of dialogue on either or both sides of this,so keep your salt lick handy! =)


    • Hmm, good points, Shan. Looking over the whole scene in Scrivener, there isn’t much direct interaction or dialogue. It was meant as a transition piece, but yeah… there is definitely a detachment there to consider. Thank you for point it out. I knew it needed help, but wasn’t seeing where.

      I almost wish I could say I was sorry for the maths, but it was fun mind-play.


  10. Great imagery, and Alannii does have some really great insights into Vissellii’s mood.