Understanding

WIPpet

I expect this will be the last post from my fanfiction the Was Variation for a while.  I’ve allowed myself enough escape time from Courting the Swan Song that I’ve lost track of the story I wanted to tell (thank the gods for notes).

Perseid Meteor Seen From Space (NASA, Internat...

For today though, given the departure theme, let me give you ten sentences from Kieri’s perspective as he and his passengers head off in search of Jayce’s father …  and Kieri’s own (though he hasn’t told anyone of his plans yet).  Ten equals twelve for the date minus two for the month.

There were no long good-byes. He managed a discrete wave to Martyn and Anocka when Atyriaa wasn’t looking. When she was, she shooed the children from him as if he were virulence itself. Not once did the shadow fade from her eyes until they were secure in the ship. Then, because he knew she’d sense his Sight, he panned the family watching their departure with The Pride’s high aspect sensors.

Alaska’s Pavlof Volcano: NASA’s View from Space

And only after the ship was well beyond the atmosphere did he finally see her again. He watched a small tear that slid down her cheek, watched her whisk it away with a fingertip, watched as her expression turned soft and, if not loving, at least tender. Just as the scanners could no longer make out the details, he used his Sight, just to see her whisper “Thank you for understanding.”

But he didn’t.

Warmest regards ( especially in this sub-zero weather)  to K.L.Schwengel for herding the WIPpeteers each week.  Head over to our linky to visit us!

ROW80 Check-in

Consistency was my overarching theme for this ROWnd, and it seems o finally be happening.  Days go by, and more often than not, I’m making steady progress on most of my goals.  It may be time to step up the pace on a few.  Or, I may need to shift my focus to those few that keep hanging on, barely touched:

  • write every day; at the minimum, do 5 sentences everyday, although not always fiction
  • finish a complete (rough) draft of Courting the Swan Song  no progress since last week
  • make twice weekly blog posts (WIPpet Wednesdays and Some Thing 4 Sundays) on a consistent schedule check
  • maintain active sponsor participation more progress on the sponsor post (although still not done); the rest– check
  • energize myself with more physical activity relaxed Monday, solid workout yesterday
  • reclaim my writing spaceI found my desk, even removed some papers from it
  • go through some piece of my electronic home (desktop, laptop, server space, Dropbox, etc.) cleared out some more emails–yeesh that stuff piles up!
  • laugh more, hug my family more, share myself with friends more… Mom’s Night Out with Shan Jeniah last night; visit to the “out-laws” on Sunday and a family symphony with Dan and the Boodle (Michigan Miller and the Search for the Lost Symphony) because the Boodle loves his symphonies too
  • attend chats and sprints on Twitter (at least one of each) no Twitter activity at all since Saturday

So that’s it for me for now.  Time to go to the dentist and get a crown re-cemented.

Photo credits:

  • Perseid Meteor Seen From Space (NASA, International Space Station, 8/13/11) (Photo credit: NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center)
  • Alaska’s Pavlof Volcano: NASA’s View from Space (Photo credit: NASA Goddard Photo and Video)
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25 responses to “Understanding

  1. Oh, that last line. It’s rather heartbreaking.

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  2. Oooh, nice snippet! I loved the lyrical repetition in the second par — and the wonderful reversal of the final line. Great! Do come back to this with some original world-building of your own, Eden. I’m really liking the teasers. 🙂

    Loved the “found my desk” line. Good luck with that! *g*

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    • Oddly enough, except for the mention of “Jayce’s father (oh, and the ship name), I’ve been using most of my worldbuilding for these snippets. Hmm… A bit concerned there. Though I’m glad you liked the prose, Ruth.

      Yep, found the desk… and using it now. It still needs a lot of cleaning, but it’s usable now. 😀

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      • I was only referring to the fact that it’s fanfiction, Eden, and that I thought you should move it out of that and into an original world. 🙂

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        • *giggles* That’s what I meant too. I took some characters from the cartoon and threw them into my world. (It’s probably why I’ve had such a problem following a storyline that suits that show… 😉 )

          It’s partly why I write the fanfiction though. In taking characters from someplace where their “actions are scripted”, I can test my characters and settings a bit more… kind of like using archetypes in a story. It’s where I test things out to odd extremes.

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          • Yeah, see, since I don’t even know what you’re basing your fanfic on, in and of itself it all feels original to me! That might be a big advantage for you if you ever want to try and rewrite it, taking it out of the fanfic world. 🙂

            I think that’s a great way for people to teach themselves how to write. Plenty of folks who started out that way have made it big by now.

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            • Oh, I understand. I should be more clear… I think it was the fuzzy from being sick already taking over, and I didn’t quite realize it.

              The original story/series was an 80s cartoon about a young man on a quest to find his father, a geneticist who’d accidentally released a sentient (and extremely aggressive) plant on the universe. The boy and his mentor hijack a ship to escape being destroyed by these plants and now try to help other people fight the “Monster Minds” while they continue their search. It’s corny, very 80s, and yet…

              As for taking out the fanfic elements… It’d be frightfully easy. I actually have to push myself to put them in. Though it has been fun having Alanii and ‘Listii trying to be “oh so very serious” about the danger of plants that transform into cars. 😉

              (And that is encouraging! I won’t ask for names, but it’s cool to know.)

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  3. I like the last line a lot, very poignant. And I need to clean my desk off too, btw!

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  4. You found your desk!! Hurrah!! That’s a fantastic feeling. 🙂
    Interesting WIPpet. I’m not entirely sure what is going on in the first paragraph — mainly, I’m sure, to it being out of context. I love the last little bit where she thanks him.

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    • Finding my desk has been the mission of the week. It’s still a mess, but … I can use it (and am)!

      Yeah, I knew the departure details would probably be fuzzy. And I can’t explain why… But if people really like this fan fiction, I’m thinking of posting the whole thing one of these days.

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    • BTW, Kathi, a question, if you would… what exactly is There And Draft Again? Besides a blog….

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      • There & Draft Again is…just that. A collaborative blog between several fantasy writers. We take turns posting during the month.

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        • I meant more about theme and intention. To inspire, to promote, to … I mean, I know several of you all (you and Raewyn via the WIPpets, EM through the ROW80, and you’re all a lot of fun, but I guess I’m not seeing something.

          How many posts do you do a month and on what (average) schedule? (Okay… so I just ‘followed’ today… I could probably answer that myself with more research, but it wouldn’t give me insight to how the schedule is setup , etc.)

          Inquiring minds want to know… 😉

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  5. Awwwwwwww, that was so bittersweet! Pardon me, I’m not crying… it’s just the dust and not the pregnancy hormones making me all teary eyed… yeah, that’s totally it…

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    • It is a very hard moment, on all of them. Glad that came through, Christina. *offers handkerchief* Those pregnancy hormones can be challenging. And yeah… you’re right, I really do need to dust.

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  6. I love those “Thanks for understanding” “No I don’t, but I’m not gonna tell you that” moments. 🙂

    I think a little is better than nothing on any goal, at least that’s what I tell myself. Whatever way you move forward (bettering on some goals or evening out attention) I do hope it helps meet your needs. Keep up the great work.

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    • It’s a bit less of a “I’m not going to tell you”, but he does understand (and doesn’t) and can’t tell her.

      And true… progress is still progress. And I’m definitely digging this consistency thing. 😀

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  7. I love the feeling here, and seeing the kids again…

    One little nit – and it could as easily be in the context or in my reading (edit edit reread edit peek at WIPpet answer a child, edit, edit, flirt with that blue-bearded guy, edit edit sleep edit edit continue…)…

    Anyway, I wasn’t sure who was on the ship, and who wasn’t, so it was a bit of a tangle trying to visualize it, until the end.

    And, oh, that last line…

    As for the ROW80 stuff, good on ya! I can find my desk, but the family room desk shows that the kids have been creative indeed, of late!

    And, FYI, Annalise loves to dust, especially with feather dusters! =)

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    • Oh, I have a feather duster somewhere I should give her. Ours nearly never gets used…

      It may be context, but since (if I try to follow Ruth’s suggestion and “de-fanfic” it) this is a scene that would definitely need to be reworked, I will watch those details carefully. Glad you remembered the kids though… 😀

      And Happy Birthday to the BLueBeard the Chef!

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      • She would love a feather duster (she’s my girl; why wouldn’t she have odd hobbies?!).

        The confusion may be all mine…you KNOW what my sense of direction is like!

        And I pretty much always remember kids. After all, I lead a pretty kid-oriented existence!

        We’re having a quiet day at home, recuperating….still, this beats his 48th birthday on every level.

        So all is well – or well enough.

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