Not What He Remembered

ROW80 Check-in

ROW80LogocopyThe head is clearing now, both from the cold and from getting some things that have hovering finished.

  • write every day; at the minimum, do 5 sentences  I want to make this a fiction only goal from now on
  • finish a complete (rough) draft of Courting the Swan Song   three new sentences!  😉
  • make twice weekly blog posts (WIPpet Wednesdays and Some Thing 4 Sundays) on a consistent schedule check
  • maintain active sponsor participation YES!!! (sponsor post even handed in)
  • energize myself with more physical activity a good workout this morning plus
  • reclaim my writing space  stopped the avalanche and grabbed shovels
  • go through some piece of my electronic home (desktop, laptop, server space, Dropbox, etc.) nothing here
  • laugh more, hug my family more, share myself with friends more… yes, yes, YES!  😀
  • attend chats and sprints on Twitter (at least one of each) nope


I’d hoped to be a lot further along in Courting the Swan Song by this point (March is National Novel Editing Month after all), and I don’t have a complete first draft.  I do have a good baseline sketch of things that I’m missing, but that’s about it.

I do have enough to bring you a WIPpet, even if I have to grab that from someplace other than the three new sentences I added to the manuscript since Sunday (or the others I deleted).

Six shortish sentences today…  2 for February subtracted from 2 plus 6 for the day.

Michiko II by Fabian Ferez

“‘Ssell! I didn’t know you’d be in the city today,” the man said.

Alanii stopped himself short. ‘Ssell? Vissellii Marae? This genteel lady could not be Valichii and Valistii’s snippy, mud-haired, spear-pole of a sister. He stared at the young woman who was now offering Valichii an embrace and a peck on the cheek. She turned next to offer her uncle the same.

Raise your glass (mine’s iced tea, hope that’s not a problem)  to K.L.Schwengel hosting this bloghop.  The WIPpeteers hang out over at this  linky; come on and visit!

16 responses to “Not What He Remembered

  1. Oh, I love this, “…snippy, mud-haired, spear-pole of a sister.” What a great description. And excellent portrayal at showing his shock and surprise.


  2. Congrats on all the progress on your goals!

    I liked the description of the lady in the snippet. 🙂 But one thing threw me off — the name with the “‘” at the beginning looked to me like a typo. When I reread the post, I noticed it was there earlier as well, I just didn’t noticed it because of the quotation marks preceding the name.

    Do with that reaction what you will! 🙂


    • Thanks, Ruth. You’re definitely mentioning something here I’ve been tossing back and forth in my head (eg. the whole Hastor family thing of shortening names). I’ll probably just get rid of the extra apostrophe in the nicknames, but … old habits, you know.


  3. “snippy, mud-haired, spear-pole of a sister” is an excellent phrase. 🙂


  4. Loved this description: Valichii and Valistii’s snippy, mud-haired, spear-pole of a sister.

    Really vivid and at the same time relatable (sp?). Is Ssell a name? Unusual work. Intriguing excerpt!


    • Hmmm, I definitely need to fix that name. Yes, Ssell is Vissellii’s nickname. And she’s not so mud0haired or skinny now, as Alanii just discovered.


  5. Loved this scene! I can just picture the shock on Alanii’s face 😀 I also enjoyed the picture you chose to accompany the snippet – so pretty!


  6. Glad you’re feeling better. I think a bug is trying to make its way into our house. Where’s the holy water and crosses, LOL.

    Nice snippet though the double ss in the name throws me every time I see it. I see from one of your replies that it’s short for Vissellii, could you not do Selli? Or Sel?

    Looks like a good week Eden. Keep up the flow going 🙂


    • Yep! Definitely have to do something with that name. Thing is… in the language I made up for the stories, the double ss doesn’t sound like an s but between that and an sh. Hmmm… I’ll figure out something, I’m sure.

      I know what you mean about these cold bugs. *shudders* They’re right vicious this year.


  7. Seems you are doing awesome with your goals. Keep up the great work.

    It is always shocking how people grow up. I once ran across a picture of a guy from my graduating class… He ended up in the NFL (but due to injuries never ended up playing a game). I never though he had the physical capability to get that big, especially in the neck area. I think people get frozen in our memories and that must be the lead in to shock.


    • Thanks, Gloria. I’m trying my best.

      Wow, that must have been a huge change to experience. Sorry to hear he never got a chance to play though.


  8. I like the surprise that Alanii feels on seeing a girl he hasn’t seen for many years and how much she’s changed. I’ve had similar moments in my life where I can’t believe how much the person I’m meeting for the first time in years has changed.