Airing my Dirty Laundry

Things never are what they seem here at Chez Mabee. First I was going to have a working washing machine; then I needed to wait another two weeks (because even the company can’t figure out what happened to ours): First I was going to have surgery on my jaw; then I’m not because the endodontist doesn’t want to work on an area that inflamed and infected.

Hand cranked laundry

Now?  Well, hopefully those rescheduled events will happen on schedule now.

BTW, just so you know… washing clothes in the bathtub and carting it downstairs so it can dry on the line is hard work, and it makes me really appreciate how people must have had to deal with their laundry back before the industrial revolution took off (oh, and that maybe, instead of spending another $600 on a new machine, maybe we should have invested in one of these.)

And…  I really want all this oral care stuff dealt with asap.

Still, they say “Change is good” and “You’ve got to roll with the punches.”  So here I am…  a few days late with my ROW80 overview/final check-in.  I considered doing a WIPpet on Wednesday, but I elected against the idea.  I want to spend some time catching up on my fellow WIPpeteer’s projects before I jump back in, and that took a bit of hunting as the linky contents change weekly.

My WIPpets will start next Wednesday, with more of the Unnamed Story.  Until then, why do you visit the rest of our awesome group at the linky?

ROW80 Overview

I fell close to completely flat this ROW80.  No one thing (except maybe the nearly constant mouth pain) kept me down this round, but I could name a multitude of little ones that cut into me: head, time and spirit.

By the middle of the round, I was dealing with a full-blown case of depression and didn’t give a crap about anything (frankly).  I blew off most any social media.  I skipped check-ins, sponsor duties, even writing…  There were days that I didn’t do much more than get up in the morning and stare idly at a videogame (or out the window).  They were rare, but they happened.  I’m not happy about it (kind of embarrassed now that I look back), but then…  nothing mattered.

It ended up that I did write that sponsor post and sent it out (this Monday).  And, in a fit of madness, I also offered to sponsor for another Round of Words…  I think I did because I need the connection that the ROW80 offers…. and because “faking it until I made it” was probably the only thing that kept me going most days.

I’m ready for next round though.  On Monday, I sent Kait Nolan (Great Guide of the ROW80) two sponsor posts.  No more anxiety about what can I write…  I needed to be proactive since my inability to come up with a post triggered much of the downward spiral.  And knowing this helps.  It may mean that this upcoming round is the last ROW80 round I’ll be sponsoring for a while (as I won’t volunteer to sponsor from now on unless I have a post written and ready to send out with my offer).  If I don’t end up taking on the task officially, I will still visit other ROWers and offer support and commiseration where I can.

In All its Chaotic Glory

And last, my goals…  I’m not even going to look at what those were.  I could, but I can not bring myself to dwell on them.  Instead, I looked at my stories this morning while I hosted some #JuNoWriMo sprints via Twitter.  I looked last night at the notebook of story pages I somehow managed to pull out of … of somewhere during these past few weeks and…  I smiled.

Because somehow, even when things seemed impossibly bad, I wrote things.  They may not be good things, but…  I wrote.

Many Apologies

English: The Red Arrows visit Bournemouth: big-hearted The Red Arrows create a big heart shape in the skies above Bournemouth. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I haven’t been posting the way I’d hoped I would lately.  Several things have taken my head, and few were in a good way.  Hopefully I’ve gotten myself straightened out some.

Thank you all for being understanding.  I hope to return this Wednesday for my ROW80 Round-Up and a WIPpet.  It’ll depend on how my oral surgery goes.  Many hugs to you all.

Down… Down down

Doo bee doo bee down

Waa, waa waaa–ah!

Yeah…  Sorry about that (kinda).  Just feeling a bit punchy this evening…

WIPpet

Stepping right in after last week’s post: Pinnacle, let me give you 8 small paragraphs (6 for the month minus 14 for the year).  We’re still in Atyr’s head here as she deals with ‘Listii and his sudden reluctance with her.

Down…

Down she fell from that pinnacle alone. Once she recovered from the landing, rough as it had been, she opened her eyes and looked at him. He’d already moved away from her and was laying at her side, touching her with gentle hands only.

In her shock she hadn’t broken the contact she’d opened. She felt his regret and apology before his gaze met hers.

“Not yet, Atyr,” he whispered, his gruff voice harsher than normal after their activity.

She wasn’t sure why he’d said that, despite the contact between their minds. He’d learned to shield himself that well. She started to ask why.

He smiled playfully and sealed her lips with a fingertip covered with her own rich musk. “Not now, Atyr. It’s late. Sleep with me, please?” Then he kissed her again, far gentler than any caress earlier, his thoughts gently pushing away her contact with added emphasis.

~Not now, Mouse. We can talk about it later.~

She fell back to her own mind thinking of how beautiful his voice could have been given that touch.

And the song for the post…  is it foreshadowing?

Not really, I just like Neil Sedaka.  His songs remind me of being a little kid and riding in the (not really a) backseat* of our FIAT Spider

K.L. Schwengel, of My Random Muse,  fearlessly leads the #WIPpet where writers post pieces of a draft (Work In Progress) that somehow relate with the date for fun and discussion. Feel free to comment and visit other #WIPpeteers here. We love company.

Dad liked odd, fun cars

* When I say “not really a backseat”, I mean the place where the convertible top was stored.  Back in those days, seatbelts in the backseat were optional.  Heck, the backseat was optional too.  I used to love laying down in a blanket back there, kind of squeezed in, listening to the new AM/FM stereo my father had added to the car.

ROW80

Been picking myself up after having fallen down recently.  Still in something of a funk, but the “barrel through”, “Fake it ’til you make it” attitude seems to be working somewhat (crosses fingers in case this post jinxes it).  I confess: I am seriously behind on all my goals.  I took most of last weekend off, just played around, watched television shows, played games…  read stories.  Oh and wrote three different drafts of my ROW80 sponsor post (that makes seven since the round started)….

I hate every one of them.  None of them feel natural or real enough to me…  Granted, Kait would probably be happy if I sent her anything at this point.  I guess I’ve got to force myself through one of them.  Do anything… even if it’s wrong.

Down, down, down into the breech I go.

A last song…  to dance, to move, to get us all moving.