Airing my Dirty Laundry

Things never are what they seem here at Chez Mabee. First I was going to have a working washing machine; then I needed to wait another two weeks (because even the company can’t figure out what happened to ours): First I was going to have surgery on my jaw; then I’m not because the endodontist doesn’t want to work on an area that inflamed and infected.

Hand cranked laundry

Now?  Well, hopefully those rescheduled events will happen on schedule now.

BTW, just so you know… washing clothes in the bathtub and carting it downstairs so it can dry on the line is hard work, and it makes me really appreciate how people must have had to deal with their laundry back before the industrial revolution took off (oh, and that maybe, instead of spending another $600 on a new machine, maybe we should have invested in one of these.)

And…  I really want all this oral care stuff dealt with asap.

Still, they say “Change is good” and “You’ve got to roll with the punches.”  So here I am…  a few days late with my ROW80 overview/final check-in.  I considered doing a WIPpet on Wednesday, but I elected against the idea.  I want to spend some time catching up on my fellow WIPpeteer’s projects before I jump back in, and that took a bit of hunting as the linky contents change weekly.

My WIPpets will start next Wednesday, with more of the Unnamed Story.  Until then, why do you visit the rest of our awesome group at the linky?

ROW80 Overview

ROW80LogocopyI fell close to completely flat this ROW80.  No one thing (except maybe the nearly constant mouth pain) kept me down this round, but I could name a multitude of little ones that cut into me: head, time and spirit.

By the middle of the round, I was dealing with a full-blown case of depression and didn’t give a crap about anything (frankly).  I blew off most any social media.  I skipped check-ins, sponsor duties, even writing…  There were days that I didn’t do much more than get up in the morning and stare idly at a videogame (or out the window).  They were rare, but they happened.  I’m not happy about it (kind of embarrassed now that I look back), but then…  nothing mattered.

It ended up that I did write that sponsor post and sent it out (this Monday).  And, in a fit of madness, I also offered to sponsor for another Round of Words…  I think I did because I need the connection that the ROW80 offers…. and because “faking it until I made it” was probably the only thing that kept me going most days.

I’m ready for next round though.  On Monday, I sent Kait Nolan (Great Guide of the ROW80) two sponsor posts.  No more anxiety about what can I write…  I needed to be proactive since my inability to come up with a post triggered much of the downward spiral.  And knowing this helps.  It may mean that this upcoming round is the last ROW80 round I’ll be sponsoring for a while (as I won’t volunteer to sponsor from now on unless I have a post written and ready to send out with my offer).  If I don’t end up taking on the task officially, I will still visit other ROWers and offer support and commiseration where I can.

picture of my office

In All its Chaotic Glory

And last, my goals…  I’m not even going to look at what those were.  I could, but I can not bring myself to dwell on them.  Instead, I looked at my stories this morning while I hosted some #JuNoWriMo sprints via Twitter.  I looked last night at the notebook of story pages I somehow managed to pull out of … of somewhere during these past few weeks and…  I smiled.

Because somehow, even when things seemed impossibly bad, I wrote things.  They may not be good things, but…  I wrote.

17 responses to “Airing my Dirty Laundry

  1. I think life happened to you this time around. Endodonic problems AND a busted washer? Amazing you got anything done.

    Thanks for what you do for ROW80 and people (like me) who participate. Hang in there… I know it’s tough sometimes.


    • It does sound a bit silly when it’s put that way, John; I know… And if it was just those two things, I can’t see myself collapsing quite the way I did this round. Those were two things in a huge list (they’re also the two things that are lingering right now).

      And thank you right back at’cha, John. It’s great to be involved with such a wonderful community of creative people.


  2. Sorry you’ve felt so low Eden. I know low and it ain’t pretty. I’ve also had oral issues in my lower jaw. Years ago and recurring abscess was found to have split the bone and had to be removed. They said it would need a metal implant and might be cancerous. In the end, the removed the abscess pocket which was splitting the jaw in tow and stitched it up. No metal plate, no cancer. And the whole thing heals up quickly with little discomfort. So here’s hoping your present nightmare ends. Oh, and the jaw bone’s fused together over the past decade, pretty much.

    Stay connected Eden, I’m glad you know it’s important. 🙂 X


    • Thank you, Shah. My! What an intense situation yours must have been… I’m very glad to hear that all of it turned out well in the long run. Though my situation is in my upper jaw (up by the hinge point), it sounds much like yours. The bone has started splitting, and well, who knows… the dentists are doing what they can. Something will fix it all, I’m sure. It just sucks at the moment, as I’m sure you can agree.


  3. I didn’t quite meet my goals either, but hey, there’s always a new round coming round the corner!
    Hope the laundry situations and the mouth pain ease up soon!


    • Thanks, Deniz. Sometimes things just… happen. We deal, we move on. That’s what I’m doing. Sounds like that’s what you’re doing too


  4. ~Sending you hugs~ Because I have been there, was there a couple of weeks ago. It’s to break out of that “Oh, I’ll write later…” when the world around you is full of craziness. Take a deep breath and know that you did write and you know what you need to do for the next round. Hang in there, one step at a time! You got this!!



  5. Sys,

    Sometimes, just breathing is a project. Just getting through this minute, then the next, and another….

    You kept writing. It might have saved you. It might be a lot better than you think now, when you look at it later…or not. But you did what you could.

    Wishing you a healthy mouth and a washer that functions. Ironically, our dryer futzed last week, too. We were lucky; the fuse melted, and could have started a fire, but didn’t. Jim was able to fix it for the price of parts…now, if only his injured knee were as simple a matter to deal with….

    Whether you sponsor or not, make your goals or not, there’s something to be said for the effort, and the giving yourself permission to feel the full scope of what makes you human.

    And you know where to find me if you need me – next two Tuesdays are a bit iffy (Jim needs to see the orthopedist for that knee, then it’s Lise’s tenth, and that day is ALL ABOUT HER…then, well, you know, July, and Elijah’s Days, and my own emotional gauntlet…

    But maybe we could do a Girls’ Night for my Tuesday birthday, at the other end of the rollercoaster?


    • A Girls’ Night for your birthday sounds delightful. It’ll be actually in the middle of our vacation time though, so, will have to verify with Dan….

      Though if you need someone during your emotional gauntlet, I’m here.

      Happy ‘Lise birthday! 😀

      We have new washer (it’s took over three weeks, but now it’s here). It’s a TARDIS, bigger on the inside and smaller on the outside than the old one. Teeth… that’s another story. Sometimes I wish I had dentures.

      The writing is actually pretty scary now that I’ve gone back to look at it. Ah, well… it’s words.


      • If it works out for the 29th, it does, and if not – well, I like these people I live with, and spending my birthday with them seems like a good idea, too…

        Eleven years later, it’s less of a gauntlet than a wave…I just try to surf it, and feel what I feel when I feel it.

        I miss him. That will never change.

        And I live a life that’s better than I could have imagined. Paradox, much?!

        I’m happy about the washer, and less so about the teeth. Jim has expressed similar sentiments.

        Words is words. Sometimes, I think the scary ones need to come out, to make room for the good ones – or something like that. At least you wrote, and that is definitely something.


        • My sympathies to Jim. It’s a bummer when our bodies stop putting up with all the use and abuse we’ve given them over the years and start demanding we take better care of them.

          Paradox? No. Just the result of being more emotionally full and aware of the depths of Life.


          • Jim has definitely given his some abuse! He’d kind of like to turn the clock back a few years, on that score…

            *emotionally full and aware of the depths of Life.*

            Yes. This. ❤


  6. Sorry to hear about the depression, Eden. It seems like a lot of us were dealing with a bit more than usual this round. At least we have each other to gripe to! *g*

    And I’m very glad to hear you ended the round with a smile. 🙂