Peeking Around Corners

theater-curtains-green-velvet-left-trompe-l-oeiltheater-curtains-green-velvet-right-trompe-l-oeilI’m not usually one to put myself forward.  At least I never thought I was, but when I look around, I keep seeing ways that I have tried to step out and experience some of the World Stage in  some other capacity than as gopher and janitor.

This past week another writing challenge that I participate, JuNoWriMo, in has held an open ‘audition’ for featured authors to spotlight on the challenge’s blog.  I demurred at entering a post.  I mean, who the heck am I?  I’m not an ‘author’; often I hesitate to call myself a writer, even though I write (profusely).  So I almost let another year pass by without stepping forward with a post.

Oh, I toyed with the idea.  Last night, during our local NaNoWriMo group’s weekly write-in, I started plotting the post, answering the questions more as an exercise to get myself into thinking about my story in an all-inclusive sense than the multitude of blogs and snippets I’d visited yesterday for the Weekend Writing Warriors bloghop.  As much fun as I have participating, I find it’s hard to come home to my story after a day of bloghopping, and sometimes the near-thoughtless act of answering stock questions about my story and my writing helps me refocus.

Peek

And…  being asked to write a synopsis of my story is always a good challenge for me, because frankly, I suck at trying to winnow down all these characters and their emotional/physical traumas into a few impact laden sentences.

But today, because of a post by Shan Jeniah, I looked a bit closer at my  choice to even start that feature…  that post that I was writing because I just wanted to practice.  Or did I?  I thought again of some of my other online activities: my participation in writing blog hops such at the Weekend Writers and the WIPpet Wednesdays, about my creation of a First Friday Photo, about even my choice to be a sponsor in the ROW80, and so many other choices I’ve made in my life where I tried to step out into the spotlights for just a moment.  And I decided to take the plunge and try entering a post.

Stepping forward in this manner shouldn’t be as hard as it is  It’s staggering however.  As much as I stepped out and made a small place in those things I listed, the things weren’t about me, no more than the JuNoWriMo is about me.  This feature piece however is about me (well, as is this one you are reading in a different way); it’s about me saying “look at me; I do this, and I’m damned proud of it”.  As Shan notes in her post, most of us aren’t taught to speak for ourselves this way.

ROW80LogocopyBios of any kind trip me up.  I usually fall back of self-effacing humor and deflection.  The one paragraph blurb on my main blog has a picture I took and mentions furniture and unpacking but no mention of what I do.  It’s not even on an “About” page.

But I’m going to try to show myself a bit more this time.

And that, is what I’ve done since last week’s ROW80 check-in in addition to maintaining steady progress on most all of my goals.  I fell behind on my push-up goal somewhat in all the desk-time.

That’s it for me  today.  What new ways are you trying to grow and more deeply become who you are?

Please step in and visit and encourage other ROW80 participants via our linky.

10 responses to “Peeking Around Corners

  1. I can relate to what you’re saying. It has taken me a long time getting used to commenting on blogs. The better I know the other blogger (via interactions and challenges/groups), the easier it gets. However, that first ever comment (or the first five) can take *forever* to write as I delete in panic and self-doubt. Though, I keep working on doing it, not so much for a spotlight, but to crawl out of the shadow of isolation. Maybe one day I’ll be brave like you and crawl in that spotlight. Keep being awesome!

    Like

    • *blushes* I’m not at all brave, Gloria. If anything, I’m foolhardy. I jump out onto the burning bridge in front of me, only to realize that I’m about to drop into the chasm 100ft below if I don’t scramble to one side or the other. And more often than not, I rush back to the “safe-place” I came from….

      And, just in case you didn’t know, I think you’re pretty awesome too. Last year during the WIPpets, I read a lot of your posts in awe and a bit of envy.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sometimes it’s really hard to just put yourself out there. You may have to do it gradually at your own comfort level. But always be proud of who you are and what you do. Shan’s post really opened up some things, didn’t it?

    That looks like my cat peeking around the corner. LOL

    Like

    • It did at that. Stepping out… slowly, carefully… the ground in fraught with mines and gopher holes, but there is something beautiful and desirable on the other side too.

      I love that kitty.

      Like

  3. Sys, you are one of the bravest people I know. And I’m not just saying that because I love you.

    I’m saying it because it’s true.

    It was true when we were 9, and 16, and it’s true now.

    I hope one day you’ll see it, too. And I’m happy to have played a small part in your getting past the “can’t do it” and to the “gonna give it a try”…

    Because you’ve done that for me about a million and a half times, now…<3

    Like