Sunday, Rainy Sunday

We so dearly needed the rain here…  not the way California needs rain, but on a pretty drastic level for this time of the year.  The change already is beautiful.  Since last night the grass has greened up; the air feels more natural…

Now…  it’s California’s turn.


Bo Staff (Wikimedia)

It’s been a rocky couple of days, mostly emotional rocks, for me.  I know I should be “beyond stupid kid crap” by now…  I mean, I’m 45 years old!  What should I care about teenagers howling out of a car?  Thing is…  it hurt, and it knocked me for more of a loop than I thought it would…  as much because I was angry that it did still affect me.

Oh, yeah, context…  Well, Friday, I took my bo staff with me when we went to my son’s school (I teach on Fridays, and since weapons class is Saturday mornings, I like to get at least one practice in during my freetime before classes).  Normally I practice on the lawn, but I elected to use the parking lot as I was wearing sandals (love my Dr. Scholls) and a dress this week and didn’t want to stumble in the uneven grass.

Anyway…  As I was doing my kata, some kids drove by and started laughing out the windows at me, then drove back to tell me how funny-looking I was…

It still sucks to even remember it.  And…  I don’t really know why, not anymore.  I know my teacher was impressed by my staff-work yesterday in class.  I know I am surrounded by supportive family members and classmates.  And….  I doubt they could have done as well.

But it still hurts….

ROW80 Check-in

ROW80LogocopyBut enough about me and my problems…  let me tell you about me and my goals!  😀

  • Writing — a little slack…  I did my OMW, and a lot of scene-planning for tomorrow’s start of JuNoWriMo
  • Time with characters/storyworld — A bit every day…  though some of involved daydreaming and not actual writing
  • Pushups/general fitness — three full hour classes of karate and weapons work, plus yard work, some push-up training…  my back kind of hurts now.
  • Camera time daily — missed yesterday…  and the Boodle is frustrated with me because I took an extra 20 minutes to get home after karate class on Friday to grab a sunset shot…  But I need to get ready for this month’s First Friday Photo
  • French and German daily 10 minutes — daily lessons/practice sessions…  missed yesterday 😦
  • MOOCs — nada  😦

I kind of flumped yesterday.  After class I just wasn’t in the mood to deal with the world….  that’s why crap like what happened on Friday really bothers me.  Because I know it’s not just me that gets torn down by such things.  Yesterday, I flumped, and I snacked and…  basically self-comforted, trying to lift my mood, when I shouldn’t have had to.  And…  I probably undid all the good of all that exercise by plowing through a whole bag of Utz Sour Cream & Onion potato chips, undid by a serious magnitude.

Anyway, pressing on…  How about you go visit some other ROWers.  I bet they need your cheering and support too.  We’re all in this together in this Writing Life.

11 responses to “Sunday, Rainy Sunday

  1. Why are we that way? Why do we let dumb stuff like this bother us? I still remember getting picked on when I was in grade school and it still bugs me. Hang in there. You are you and if others don’t like it that is there problem. Just smile! .

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    • Thanks, Chris. I’m still trying to understand why such nonsense bugged me the way it did. I still don’t have an answer that really satisfies…

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  2. As for hurtful words, I’ve never gotten over them completely, either. When I got back from an extended medical leave in 2013, I found out what a couple of my staff were saying about me in my absence, and it was very hurtful.

    I tend to think that if I could get over the hurt more easily, I wouldn’t feel as deeply the good things or have the ability to empathize. I’ll take those, and live with the hurt, but I do understand.

    It sounds much like the baby steps forward and some back kind of week I had as well. As long as it wasn’t a slide all the way down the hill, it’s forward and positive progress. Now I just have to tell myself the same thing! 🙂

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    • I hadn’t thought of it that way, Elizabeth… Yes, having the ability to feel so deeply has the down fall of being super sensitive, but also the perk of being super-sensitive… We can connect so well with words to create “real” characters.

      We’re getting real good at this Literary Tango, are we not?

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  3. Teenagers are just…teenagers. They can be so stupid in the way they act. I know I can say “Don’t let it bother you”, but that’s not going to keep it from bothering you. We’re human, and stuff like that hurts. I try to find humor in that kind of stuff, but sometimes, it just gets to you. You know? And we comfort ourselves in whatever way we can, and it often involves food. That’s something I’m trying to get past…comforting with food. Sometimes we can work off the frustration with more exercise. The main thing is, don’t beat yourself up by how you felt and how you handled the situation. You’re human, just like the rest of us, and sometimes it’s just hard.

    Good luck the rest of the week, and I hope you can put a big smile on your face. You know you rock, right? 🙂

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    • Oh, things are much better now, Lauralynn. I needed to vent the same way I needed to eat those chips and sulk for an afternoon, I think. As I noted to John, I was upset as much at myself for getting upset at such stupidity. I feel like I should know better–I do know better, intellectually. But the heart does as the heart must…

      Thanks! I do rock. Though if I have too many bags of those chips, it’ll be more of a roll. 😀

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  4. I used to roll my eyes and shake my head when my dad used to complain about “these damn kids nowadays”, but now that I’m older, I’m starting to sound more and more like him. The next time some cocky punk thinks he wants to smart-off, invite him to come say it to you face, preferably within the Bo Staff’s reach. Okay, maybe that’s just my Conan alter-ego talking there. Don’t get yourself in trouble with my tempting advice. Better yet, write a scene in one of your stories where some a villainous-henchman mocks your martial-artist heroine and she unleashes a flurry of blows upside his head with her staff. That’s how you channel these kind of life frustrations; you incorporate them into an action-scene within a story. I have a sorceress character in my ‘sword & sorcery’ world that uses a staff like a Bo Staff and she kicks major bad-guy butt. I also used to train with the Bo Staff when I was a teenager and was quite good at it back then. Anyway, write that scene; you’ll feel better. =)

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    • Oh, I’ve already got a few characters with their names (whatever their names actually were) on them, John. I’m mostly over it. Though… I am still annoyed that I allowed myself to get as upset as I did. And the knowledge that if I wasn’t a nearing middle-age zaftig woman but rather a svelte teen-to-20-something, they’d have been cheering me instead of laughing…. Yeah, that kind of bothers me too.

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  5. sorry you had to deal with that. Words really can hurt.

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  6. Very nice blog post. I certainly appreciate this website.
    Keep it up!

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