Bear and cubs ‘denning’ (cred: Wikipedia)
Most people talk about Winter when they refer to hibernating. The idea of lying low, resting, conserving energy to get through the harshest months when fuel is scarce and the it’s hard to grow more food…
Not me. Not this time. I’ve hibernated for the last few weeks.
A lot of it was just mental exhaustion. After this past winter and spring, I tried to keep up the insane momentum I’d been maintaining through the summer, hoping it would help smooth transitions in the fall… Nope. It just beat me up. There’s a time to shut down the out-put and work on in-put…refilling those wells of creativity and energy and…
Well, just rebuilding one’s self.
I’m also dreading next week and have been for the past nine months since we signed up for it. We’re going camping next week. Mind you, I really do like camping, but I hate the transition time, the shift in mental ‘place’ that it requires, … the timing this year (girl stuff), the leaving my cats, my books, my computers, my ‘space’. I love it when I’m there. But it’s like a party… or like the trip to NYC we took yesterday…. the build up terrifies me and shuts me down, and the longer the build up… the more there is camping crap piled high in every room of the house, the more it’s mentioned we need to “do this/do that”, the more I start to shut down.
I know I annoy my husband with my waffling. Of course… I’m not the one who’s talked about needing to get his fishing license since June…
Anyway, I’ve been in a bad headspace and have avoided every online thing I could. If it hadn’t been a need to reconnect with some specific people on Facebook about a childhood friend’s recent death… I wouldn’t really have even posted there.
But I have written some. I’ve read more. Lots of reading. And some television. And walks…. and… well, generally just stuff.
And I felt I sort of owed you all a bit of an explanation of where I’ve (not) been and where I will be for at least another week or so.
Many Worlds From Many Minds 