A Bit of Back-Tracking

Wednesday does this “thing” to me… it shows up every week, same time, same way… when I am least prepared for it.

I realized (actually, I was reminded) that I kind of dumped you all into this story a bit out of the blue last week. For anyone who wants the main opening chapters, of this Unnamed Story (my personal title is actually Phuque U, but only because I give most of my stories doofy names), there are eight rather long installments here. This section jumps several days into the future when ‘Listii and Atyr have finally admitted how they feel about each other. And the realization that it changes nothing in their chaotic lives with their responsibilities to others weighing over them…

This WIPpet happens maybe an hour at most before last week’s Not the Other Way. Just a glimpse into Atyr’s space as this is happening too. Five paragraphs for June 1st: 6-1

Her wandering footsteps found her at the door to the room she’d been given. She did hesitate to enter for a moment, then seeing nothing better to do she went in boldly. There was a ray of sun highlighting the waterfall now, and she stood at the archway, staring out at the crystalline rain for long enough to wish she didn’t ever have to leave it. But a cloud drifted across the sky, shading things, and she turned around to see if she might find herself some rest.

The room itself now glowed with the diffuse light of some battery-powered lamps. Fresh linens and a feather-bed had been brought up but had not yet been fitted to the straw slab.

Temporary…. not decided.

Her bags had been emptied into the drawer and the wardrobe–an invasion, even if it did seem to be the only suggestion of permanence in the room. Her brush and combs, all her personal effects, had been neatly arranged next to a basin and ewer of rose-scented water. She picked up the brush and passed the boar bristles through her hair a few times, watching her reflection in the silvered glass of the dressing table.

But she didn’t see herself.

If you enjoyed this, why not head over to the WIPpet linky and visit other WIPpetteers. A “Hi“, a cheer and lots of appreciation to Emily Witt for hosting the WIPpet bloghop these days. It takes a lot to corral our silliness.  If you’re interested in trying it out for yourself, the rules are simple: post a sample of your most recent Work In Progress (WIPpet) that somehow (can very loosely) relates to the date and then add your post to our Linky List so we can come visit you too.

Insert creepy monotone voice here

Insert creepy monotone voice here

22 responses to “A Bit of Back-Tracking

  1. Ok, those furbies are absolutely terrifying!
    I really enjoyed the snippet though, especially the descriptions of the view and the room 🙂


  2. Interesting. What did she see? If she didn’t see herself was her mind somewhere else. This passage throws out a lot of questions for the reader to think about. Very nice.
    Shalom aleichem,


    • Pretty much… She has a lot going on, and a lot of thing taking up her mental energy are about to come to a head soon.

      Thank you for visiting, Pat.


  3. Hahaha the furbies! Beloved and I had a couple that filled in for pets while we adjusted to our new petless lives as a married couple living in an apartment. We liked them, but they were a little creepy sometimes. Their timing was weird.

    Also, I didn’t mean to be critical last week. 😦 Sorry. I have missed your WIPpets and I’m glad you’re back. 🙂

    I love the waterfall moment, and the feeling of being invaded. Even knowing no one is likely to find anything I’d be embarrassed about in my bags (though I can’t say THEY wouldn’t be embarrassed), I’d feel slightly violated. My bag. No touchy.


    • Furbies as first pets… wow! The things actually terrify me (Shan’s comment was so spot on), but then who doesn’t want a little creepy in their lives on occasion?

      LOL–I’m not bothered. It was a good reminder. Sometimes I get so involved in the stories I’m in, it helps to be reminded there’s a real world out here for me to participate in.

      Yes! Atyr’s definitely going through a lot right now. She’s pretty close to numb.

      Liked by 1 person

      • We were desperate and someone had given us two. And a little creepy is good for folks. Keeps us on our toes. Or something like that. *eyes the Little Pony doll that talks at 3 AM for no apparent reason*

        Poor Atyr. 😦


  4. I really like the punchiness of that last line. The whole snippet indicates Atyr doesn’t quite belong there, and then that last line brings it home.


  5. There’s a name for a group of Furbys. I just made it up.

    It’s called a “terrify of Furbys”, and I expect it to catch on. =)

    I bumped into one in Lise’s room the other day. Creepy-sudden. l’m a bit relieved she’s moved on to other things, of late.

    See what happens when you put a terrify of Furbys in your blogpost?

    LOVED the snippet, even if the setting in the opening confused me a bit. I can feel the depth of her emotion beneath the surface, and, since I’ve had a hard time connecting with Atyr more often than not, I’m intrigued.


    • I like that term!

      Glad the snippet intrigued you. I know you’ve had trouble connecting with Atyr before (I do sometimes too–she’s so very different than I ever imagined her). The setting is this really funky bedroom that was cut out of a mountain behind a waterfall, so the balcony in it looks out through the water’s flow. Only the Hastor…

      Liked by 1 person

      • “Terrify of furbies” ROFL


      • Oh! I love that!

        Not only the Hastor, though.

        In my current draft in progress, Linwood and Water Whispers have a scale replica of the area between Havasu and Mooney Falls in their bedroom, to remind them of home.


        • Sounds lovely… that is definitely a pretty area, just from pictures I’ve seen (I haven’t been, but you know my waterfall obsession)

          …and no, it’s not just the Hastor. It’s just a people thing. But it speaks to something inside of us. I actually always wondered about that bedroom–it doesn’t “feel’ lovely (Atyr is horrified by it… so is ‘Listii for that matter–he can’t understand why his brother would want to make such a place to celebrate his marriage, but then knowing Val…)

          Liked by 1 person

          • Pretty doesn’t begin to cover it. Magical and spiritual are closer. You should go one day; you’ll understand. =)

            Val is a bit of an odd duck, isn’t he?


            • I’ve been places like that (at least to me), but I never complain about discovering new ones. So, yes, someday… perhaps.

              Yeah. He is. I think he’s beginning to see that in himself some too.


    • I think a terrify of furbies is absolutely perfect and appropriate!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Having lived with the creepy little dudes for a few years now, I can say YUP!

        Once, my daughter, 9 at the time, came home from her grandparents down the road, threw her furby across the room and dissolved into tears in my arms.

        It had changed personalities during her walk, and she was trapped with a Furby that was suddenly growly in a rather threatening male voice!

        Liked by 1 person

  6. That sounds like a beautiful room and a beautiful view. I look forward to reading more next week.

    I also think I may have to steal that picture of furbies for use later 😛