Earlier, when I started this post, I had all sorts of snarky things in my head to say. It was Wednesday, the world seemed to have gone mad yet again, and I was feeling … well, like something was going to happen.
I don’t want to feel that way anymore. I just want to go back to this morning. It’s wasn’t a perfect morning. Heck, it wasn’t even the best morning. It had good bits though, and I want those back.
Most of all, this morning, Mr. Kitty hadn’t been injured.
He didn’t need an emergency trip to the vet.
Most of all, he didn’t need to be put to sleep because he’d suffered severe spinal nerve damage and had lost all sensation (and function) from about the middle of his back, down.
The vet wasn’t sure if it had been the result of a blood clot or an injury caused by a car or some other violence. Because of the damaged nerves and his heart murmur, she didn’t see a good chance of recovery from surgery. He couldn’t eat or drink… he’d lost function effectively below the waist. He could purr and cry softly at me. He could panic a bit about the overly friendly pittie at the vet’s office (who stayed well away, but was close enough to smell and therefore was a possible threat). He was still able to be comforted by a scritch behind the ears and be pissy and unsettled when the vet or her assistant touched him.
He was himself right up to the end.
But, for the record, there is little that feels as wrong as those last loving touches that you give your pet as the vets are giving them the sedative and the barbiturate shots. I know he felt no pain, but I also know he was mostly gone by the time I was able to say good-bye. I know that’s standard procedure, I know our vet and she is wonderful and wanted him to suffer as little as possible (despite the nerve damage, he was suffering because of lost function), but… I wish I’d been able to be with him before the first shot a bit longer. I know he knew I was there for a moment–he tried to fight the sedative pretty hard, constantly opening and closing his eyes, trying to focus on me a few times when I spoke to him, his ears flicked slightly. But the drugs are meant to be strong, and he wasn’t going to fight his way through this.
Why is it the animals that cause us the most grief are the ones we become the most attached to?
I think that as Flufflepuff comes over and begs for hugs. I think both he and JuJuBee are missing their window companion.
Now onto normal Wednesday affairs…
No fancy WIPpet maths today. Six sentences. It’s your choice whether that’s for the 6th month or for the addition of the 1&5 of the date. And yeah, I stepped back a few more pages yet again in the Unnamed Story. At this rate… I’ll be reposting stuff.
Can any of you guess who Alanii is speaking about?
Alanii snorted. “I’ve seen what his lovers look like, Atyriia. That man doesn’t know anything about seducing a woman gently. His wife had been an ale wench. She’d been the only woman to ever share his bed and not leave it covered in bruises. And only because she could pick him up and throw him out of the room if she needed.”
Enjoyed that bit? Well, then head over to the WIPpet linky and visit other WIPpeteers. A shout out and hugs to Emily Witt for hosting the hop these days.
The ROW80 Check-in
I don’t have much to say today. Things are… well, until today, things had been on track. This is the only writing or writing related activity I’ve done today though. Studying up on what drugs are actually used in euthanasia for cats is the only reading I’ve done. Hanging out on Facebook and trying to lose my head in other people’s lives is the only interaction I’ve achieved.
Mostly it has worked. I wrote this post. I had other plans to write about today. Maybe Sunday… Maybe I’ll post a Friday Photo on my other blog… I don’t know. It’s too far ahead to plan now.