Farewell Mrrrpp

Earlier, when I started this post, I had all sorts of snarky things in my head to say.  It was Wednesday, the world seemed to have gone mad yet again, and I was feeling …  well, like something was going to happen.

the Handsome Boy

the Handsome Boy

I don’t want to feel that way anymore.  I just want to go back to this morning.   It’s wasn’t a perfect morning.  Heck, it wasn’t even the best morning.  It had good bits though, and I want those back.

Most of all, this morning, Mr. Kitty hadn’t been injured.

He didn’t need an emergency trip to the vet.

Most of all, he didn’t need to be put to sleep because he’d suffered severe spinal nerve damage and had lost all sensation (and function) from about the middle of his back, down.

The vet wasn’t sure if it had been the result of a blood clot or an injury caused by a car or some other violence.  Because of the damaged nerves and his heart murmur, she didn’t see a good chance of recovery from surgery.  He couldn’t eat or drink…  he’d lost function effectively below the waist.  He could purr and cry softly at me.  He could panic a bit about the overly friendly pittie at the vet’s office (who stayed well away, but was close enough to smell and therefore was a possible threat).  He was still able to be comforted by a scritch behind the ears and be pissy and unsettled when the vet or her assistant touched him.

He was himself right up to the end.

Fluffle and Mr. Kitty

Fluffle and Mr. Kitty

But, for the record, there is little that feels as wrong as those last loving touches that you give your pet as the vets are giving them the sedative and the barbiturate shots.  I know he felt no pain, but I also know he was mostly gone by the time I was able to say good-bye.  I know that’s standard procedure, I know our vet and she is wonderful and wanted him to suffer as little as possible (despite the nerve damage, he was suffering because of lost function), but…  I wish I’d been able to be with him before the first shot a bit longer.  I know he knew I was there for a moment–he tried to fight the sedative pretty hard, constantly opening and closing his eyes, trying to focus on me a few times when I spoke to him, his ears flicked slightly.  But the drugs are meant to be strong, and he wasn’t going to fight his way through this.

Why is it the animals that cause us the most grief are the ones we become the most attached to?

I think that as Flufflepuff comes over and begs for hugs.  I think both he and JuJuBee are missing their window companion.

Au revoir, Monsieur

Au revoir, Monsieur

Now onto normal Wednesday affairs…

The WIPpet

No fancy WIPpet maths today.  Six sentences.  It’s your choice whether that’s for the 6th month or for the addition of the 1&5 of the date.  And yeah, I stepped back a few more pages yet again in the Unnamed Story.  At this rate…  I’ll be reposting stuff.

Can any of you guess who Alanii is speaking about?

Alanii snorted. “I’ve seen what his lovers look like, Atyriia. That man doesn’t know anything about seducing a woman gently. His wife had been an ale wench. She’d been the only woman to ever share his bed and not leave it covered in bruises. And only because she could pick him up and throw him out of the room if she needed.”

Enjoyed that  bit?  Well, then head over to the WIPpet linky and visit other WIPpeteers. A shout out and hugs to Emily Witt for hosting the hop these days.

The ROW80 Check-in

I don’t have much to say today.  Things are…  well, until today, things had been on track.  This is the only writing or writing related activity I’ve done today though.  Studying up on what drugs are actually used in euthanasia  for cats is the only reading I’ve done.  Hanging out on Facebook and trying to lose my head in other people’s lives is the only interaction I’ve achieved.

Mostly it has worked.  I wrote this post.  I had other plans to write about today.  Maybe Sunday…  Maybe I’ll post a Friday Photo on my other blog…  I don’t know.  It’s too far ahead to plan now.

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26 responses to “Farewell Mrrrpp

  1. I’m so sorry for your loss.
    Please accept a hug from me in your time of grief.

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  2. Big hugs to you, Eden. No apologies necessary about not writing, not posting. Take care of yourself.

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    • Writing, posting… they are somewhat distracting. It’s like the laundry. I can’t stop until the dishes are washed, the laundry folded… the words are written. My mother once asked how I could be so calm after her mother died (since Grandma was … Grandma even more so than my other grandmother, I guess it was a valid question). I wasn’t ‘calm’ though. I was ‘doing’… not dealing.

      I’m doing, and dealing in snippets.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Raisin and I send all our love to all of you on the loss of Mr. Kitty. Love, Susan

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    • Thank to both of you. My goodness, Raisin must be all sleek and lovely these days, no longer a little currant of a kitten!

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. When we had to put our Pebbles down, she stayed strong and fiercely independent until the end. She never liked being held and it was an honor to pet her beautiful calico coat. But when she knew her days, her hours were numbered, she placed her trust in her people.
    Hoping that you find peace in knowing you helped a dear friend cross the rainbow bridge.

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    • For the past year, Mr. Kitty not only had developed a fondness for being petted, he would intentionally mew at the window for me to come out and feed him, just to nibble a few bites of food and then try to make sure I didn’t go back inside until I’d spent what he considered the correct amount of time petting him. He wouldn’t sit on my lap, wouldn’t settle… he was very much a dancer and twiner, but he would let me pick up his front paws a bit and rest them in my hands and he’d headbonk me with wet kitty-kisses. And… he’d purr and then eat and then wander over to the window again if I’d gone inside, the birds would eat his food and we’d do the whole thing again, but he wouldn’t come in near my son or my husband…

      And like your Pebbles, I knew just how ill he was when he didn’t get upset that my husband was around and trying to help me get him in the carrier. 😦

      There will be peace soon enough, i imagine. I understand what happened and accept that. But I still look out on the railing and wonder why he’s not there mrrping at me. He had a lovely kitty voice.

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss. I have a cat that looks just like yours, and I would be devastated if that happened to her. I’m glad you were with him. Hugs.

    Loved the snippet.

    Take your time getting back into the swing. You’re grieving.

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    • There’s a lot of history with our furry ones, every one. Your lady sounds like a beauty. I wish I could say he always looked this charming (he was a recovering feral however, and he wasn’t about to stay inside–nor would I have expected him to; as the vet said, he lived his life on his own terms, he chose his human, and I adored him… though he did get a bit dangerous when the deck was icy and he was hungry… just trying to feed him I fell a few times this past winter).

      Glad you enjoyed the snippet.

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  6. I am so sorry about Mr Kitty. Losing a fur baby is the worst feeling. 😦 *hugs*

    I do enjoy your WIPpet, though! I’m not sure who they’re talking about, but I do love the mental image of the ale wench wife.

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    • Thanks, Emily. He was a big baby too.

      Glad you enjoyed the WIPpet. I’m trying to decide if I should reveal the name. No one has even tried to guess yet… :-/

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  7. That’s so heartbreaking. Our two boys are a huge part of our lives. I’m so sorry to hear your news.

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  8. So sorry about your kitty.
    The last line of the snippet made me laugh.

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    • Thanks, Fallon. I’d have to say he was only mine though because he gave himself to me, not because of any other reason.

      Glad it made you smile.

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  9. Sorry about your cat.

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  10. I’m sorry for your loss. It’s hard to lose a pet. He was a beautiful cat.

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  11. So many hugs. 😦 I’m so sorry about Mr. Kitty. I’m glad he had you there to love on him.

    I almost feel like it’s inappropriate to laugh at your WIPpet, but it did amuse me. Not the part where the man in question is a violent brute, but the part where his wife can give it back to him. It has poetic justice.

    Progress will happen when it happens. Unless making it is helpful to you in your mourning process, I give you permission to shelve stuff for a few days. (“I” because we’ve talked about how sometimes that permission needs to come from outside ourselves.)

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    • Laughter is a raw emotion in its own. It’s all good. Though… I think you may be mis-judging the man in question (so is Alanii), as I noted in the post I made this week (I took a week off to try to recover my self some).

      *nods* I agree. Sometime, having that external permission is a good thing.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. So sorry to hear about the sudden loss of your sweet cat. We lost ours 2 years ago at age 21 – such a hole when our pets are taken from us.

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    • 21 is a long life for a kitty–and yet, while I’d have loved to have had the Mrrrpp that long, his nature was such that I’m sure he lived his life more according to his own desires than if I’d tried to make him into a housecat. Thank you, Bev

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  13. I am sorry that you have to put your cat to sleep. It happened to me in 2008. I had my cat, Clay, 22 years. He was the prettiest black cat with emerald green eyes in the whole world. I was also with him when he closed his eyes and took his last breath. My vet let me spend time with Clay alone. He put us in a separate room. Clay knew it was time for him to go and I believe he knew that I was having a big problem letting go. He didn’t hiss or anything when the doctor touched him. He always had his eyes on me and they were full of love. I know that. I talked to him the whole time and I promised him that I wouldn’t rush out and get another cat to numb away the pain and loss of him.
    It has taken some years. He was such an unusual cat and there are times even now when I miss him.

    Shalom aleichem,
    Patricia

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    • I understand so very well. Each kitty has its own unique personality, and black cats somehow reach us deeper than most, imho.

      I’m in no hurry for another outside kitty here. I let them come as they do and welcome them when they arrive, but I never would bring a cat here to be an outside pet. And we have two kitties inside (my son’s cat and then Fluffle who was originally his cat’s cat… a companion for her, but he has adopted me).

      But we’ll always treasure our furry loved ones

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