Damaged Goods

MjAxNC04ZjBlYTU5ZmNiZjdiZjY4Well, THIS was supposed to go out yesterday…  Had everything planned and scheduled and then “poof”!  Yesterday went crazy.

So here it is now.

About this WIPpet…

This extract comes deep into one of my fanfiction stories, the Dots.  Yes, I know that name means nothing.  Well, except for the weird way I named files on my old 8086–silly names like stuff, morestuff, or in the case of the Dots, dotdash, dashdash, etc. Who knows?  Maybe I was looking for help with my writing at the time from a supernatural source….

Either way, the Dots and its companion piece, the Was Variation that I’ve used here many times, have grown into wonderful sandboxes for character exploration.  In this piece, I have one of my regular MCs, Kieri Vestimorn having the table yanked right out from under him…  in a few ways.  Backdrop:  his lover (Atyr) is in the hospital, poisoned; he’s being escorted through the secure medical facility to see her by Venei (whom he just found out is his half-brother); Venei knows Atyr as his step-mother.

Convoluted?  Yep.  , so…  using the simplest of maths, here it is…  10 small paragraphs for the 28th (2+8=10).

Before his half-brother could debate his suggestion, Kieri grabbed for the man’s hand and drew him through the door with him, astounded as he did by the audacity it took on is part to do such a thing.

Once he found himself flung solidly against the door jamb, his brother’s hand pressed fiercely up under his chin, his surprise grew as he realized he should be glad he was still alive.

Despite the speed Venei had reacted, the man’s expression was quiet—not the still, cold calm his uncle could show, but calm, and satisfied. “You won’t be doing anything that stupid again, I hope,” the man purred.

The man’s hand burned against his skin, a fire he’d become too aware of lately. A fire, he knew better than to acknowledge, not here, not now.

Maybe not ever…

Especially given that Venei could not be unaware of his reaction or how he felt, and yet there was no sign on the other man’s part that the fire was touching him.

Those brows rose slowly after a second. First a slight, curious elevation that grew, with a sudden sharpness, into shock. The man blinked, then drew back as if the fire had scorched him.

It was then, that Kieri realized they’d drawn something of an audience. He considered his half-brother’s retreat and the possible reasons uncharitably even so.

The man had already called him damaged goods, after all.

Enjoyed that? Cool! Then head over to the WIPpet linky and visit some our other awesome members. Sending hugs and chocolate (and endurance) to Emily Witt for being our gracious host. 😀

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11 responses to “Damaged Goods

  1. I have ‘stuff’ and ‘morestuff’! 😀 I’m better these days at naming docs… I like the snippet very much. It’s got me wondering whether the ‘damaged goods’ comment was an intentional snipe or a throwaway comment (like in Peanuts – ‘his kind are a dime a dozen’).

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    • Lol! I’m just starting to get better at the file names myself too.

      And… I think you may be right on both accounts

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  2. Oh, man. I’m not entirely sure whose side to be on here. That situation sounds well beyond awkward. Kieri would probably do well to acknowledge some things, though. Burying it and hoping no one notices doesn’t seem to be working so well at the moment.

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  3. very intriguing snippet.

    You may have noticed but this paragraph ‘Especially given that Venei could not be unaware of his reaction or how he felt, and yet there was no sign on the other man’s part that the fire was touching him.’ is in there twice.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I often end up with odd filenames too…then have to read through the files to figure out what they were about when the name gives me no clue. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person