Thank… Whatever

Two things today… a WIPpet and at the end of this post, a brief ROW80 End of Round update.

Today’s WIPpet follows on the heels of the piece I posted two weeks ago from my The Odds fanfic. The first line today is the last line from last week.  Andy and Kieri are getting a new perspective on each other.

This snippet is a bit longer than most of the ones I post.  I hope you’ll bear with me as it closes at a good spot (imho, of course).  There are ten (mostly small) paragraphs.  There’s one 2 in the 12 for December; divide the day (20) by that 2 and you have ten…

“Did you cry when I was shot?”

His lover stopped, still turned away. Though Kieri didn’t answer for several breaths, thankfully he finally did before Andy felt inspired to head over and hound him. “Of course.”

Kieri still didn’t turn to face him, but Andy didn’t feel like a little kid chasing an idol now as he walked around look at him. The other man’s lips pursed in something close to a snarl. He practically spat as he continued. “I was damned banshee for weeks after.” Now Kieri looked at him. It was a look that made Andy’s blood freeze. “As lost as the day I’d lost Pem, maybe more… I don’t know. I didn’t feel like killing myself—I didn’t feel, if you have to know. I stopped feeling. Stopped caring. None of it seemed to matter. I stayed in our room until Vern had the rest of the guys drag us out of there so he could bury you, the second week after it had happened.”

Andy grimaced. “Two weeks? Not that I don’t—ugh, that’s just wrong.”

“Yeah, maybe. But I didn’t care. It was my fault you’d died, and I..I just wanted you back, maybe I thought I could trade places with you. I don’t know.”

He nodded, though like the story of the Andar’s wife, he really didn’t understand. To do such a thing and yet not be able to share his feelings… Even now the man was evading him. Though maybe the barriers were down enough. “Why?  I don’t see how it would have helped.”

As close as they’d been, sex, passion, great talks, all the closeness and ideas they’d shared, he’d never seen Kieri shed a tear or show tenderness in any way for him.

Now he was seeing it; it shook him. It had taken his death to do this. Andy had always hoped to crack Kieri’s shell with who he was, not with what they’d suffered. He couldn’t love a rock.

Still, the words came, unwanted now. “That didn’t matter though. I loved you—you’d been everything to me, and I’d been too stupid to understand that until it was too late.”

Andy wasn’t sure what to say. It nothing like he’d hoped, and he needed to understand why. He looked at the floor, tracing the lines of the pattern in the tiles with his gaze. “We should get going.”

Thank the god, goddess, whatever… Thank Whatever that the other man just agreed.

Hope you enjoyed that piece.  If you’d like more head over to our special WIPpet linky and visit our other awesome members.  Thank you, Emily Wrayburn, for being such a gracious host.

A little ROw80 update

Today, for those of you who participate in the A Round of Words in 80 Days writing challenge, is the last day of Round 4.  It’s the last day of the year in ROW80 terms as well.

I’d like to say I ended the year on a high note.  True, I don’t feel this was my most productive year as a writer—instead it became a year for different discoveries and developing new skills.  The biggest would be learning how to understand the patterns both in my writing but also that in others’ writings.  And to recognize where some of my limits actually lie and devising strategies to work around them instead of trying to press through difficulties, failing and then bashing myself against those walls in frustration.

I’ve also learned how to better handle time constraints, and how to make the best of inspirational sparks when they arrive.  It’s been a year of reading, as I’ve rediscovered a love for books that had faded for a time after some particularly wall-worthy texts had landed in my hands.

In all…  not a bad year.


17 responses to “Thank… Whatever

  1. Sometimes the year ends with hard-won truths. Here, you talk about a deeper understanding of your writing and a commitment to dive into what works. That’s good progress! The writing snippet makes me feel for both lovers and hope for that ever elusive ‘happy ever after.’


    • So far the HEA has been quite elusive for this pair, but who knows… they’re only feeding me bits and pieces so far.

      I’m still trying to coalesce all this year has shown me. It’s definitely a process. And a revelation… growth is a constant.


  2. Very emotional snippet.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this: “Andy had always hoped to crack Kieri’s shell with who he was, not with what they’d suffered. He couldn’t love a rock.” That’s so perfectly stated. I wonder what it means for them going forward.


  4. Sounds like a year of exploring, or learning, of growing. A good thing.
    I’m curious – is a wall-worthy book one that’s so bad you throw it across the room at a wall?


    • That’s it exactly. Some books are just so… unpleasant, that the only joy comes from that brief surge of adrenaline one gets in the flinging it and hearing that whispery thump on the sheetrock.


  5. I find this snippet…intriguing and confusing. If Andy was buried, and died, how was he talking with Kieri? Inquiring minds want to know.

    As for the discoveries – those are great, and useful!


    • This snippet is… the “as best as I could create” (on my own) ultimate sandbox and classic response folder. Which means I have everything happening… resurrections, time changes, pretty much you name it. It’s pretty silly, but when I need to just be goofy and play, I use The Odds. Usually when I have two characters who demand a closer look at their unfinished business… and in my original version of Release, Andy died before Kieri even left Drontar, so I “knew” I needed to go back to that scenario and develop more someday

      An yes, the discoveries are. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Love this WIPpet. I understand that ‘I didn’t feel at all’ state of mind, and you’ve written it so beautifully. You’re right – it’s a perfect place to end a snippet. 🙂 Here’s to a great year ahead!


    • I suspect most people, especially most writers, as we have to come so se to feeling what everyone in our stories do, can relate to that “place” Kieri was in. It’s a pretty dark place. And now, Andy has to decide whether it’s worth it try to keep them both from going there again.

      Glad you enjoyed the piece. Thank you!


  7. This is good. You can learn a lot about people based on their reactions alone. Nicely done.


  8. Yay for ending the year on a good note! Learning one’s patterns and limits is so important if one is going to grow. That’s awesome.

    I know what you mean about rekindled passion for books after a less-than-appealing bunch. I stopped reading novels for 8 months because of one that started strong and ended on a disgusting note.

    I sympathize with Andy. Beloved is a tough nut to crack when it comes to his less comfortable feelings. It’s distressing at times.


    • Thanks, Regi.

      Yeah, sometimes I think the biggest enemy of books and reading in general is the tolerance of just crappy books out there. Some of them written by very good, well-known authors at that! Just because a person has written awesomely before doesn’t mean every book is going to hit the mark, anymore than being an unknown means one’s work is subpar.

      <> I totally get that. Sometimes my first “true love” becomes a model for scenes like these…

      Liked by 1 person