Threes

a.k.a Waiting For the Other Shoe

I’m feeling a bit of limbo these days…. things aren’t bad really. Busy, but not bad.

I know things are happening… which sounds ridiculous. Things are happening, always in progress, changing. Life doesn’t stop, hurry, or change its course in any way* just because I’m busy or stressed. Or… because I’m in limbo, waiting for the proverbial Other Shoe to drop.

This has been one heck of a year thus far. For those of you who visited or talked with me in the past 80 days (and the months prior that I spent prepping for my return to blogging and writing in general), this isn’t new news.

Yet I consider myself one of the lucky ones. After the past years of Covid, from the losses of loved ones to the isolation of the lockdowns… I was pretty O.K. Yes, I missed being able to see people I cared about. There were losses in among my family and friends that could only be consoled with a phone call or a note. But there was a spacing, and this sense that everyone else was dealing with the same horrific crap and we all needed to be strong together.

Now the world is trying to pick up and move on. People are trying to recover… And here I am, the Misery Chick. I’m not trying to make anyone feel sorry for me**. Life Happens, and I know so many people who’ve gone through as much or more.

We’ll all go through these things eventually provided we live long healthy lives, and all we can do is choose how we deal with the heartaches and stress.

I’m choosing right now to just deal. Other decisions, other choices, and more progress will follow. Give me a week… really. I know I should be giving an assessment of my ROW80 progress now, but really, I just want to get through this coming Saturday and the Celebration Of Life service Mom wanted to hold for Dad.

Until then, let me share a few photos of him just before Christmas last year.

Dad is on the right at the end

A Red Shirt… Hmm

Asking for donations to the Regional Food Bank at Crossgates Mall in Albany, NY

I don’t know what is coming up next. But I know something is coming. At the very least, I know that no matter how healthy he seems right now, my Itty Bitty Kitty Boy has a growing timebomb in his little furry body.

Then again, don’t we all?

*Though it does seem to speed up and slow down at certain moments in our lives, time doesn’t either. But our minds do seem to create that illusion… One of the non-fiction books I was reading through Round 1 was Time Warped by Claudia Hammond, mainly due to Maria Popova’s review on her site The Marginalian. Because.. I always need something extra to read… 😉

** Despite what my son might say about Tragedy Stacking… Truth is, good things and bad things are random. They don’t come in Threes, and unlike fiction, they don’t happen to some people more than others because of any grand (or not so grand) design.

Getting Out…

A moment just watching….

Today, instead of moping… and to give both myself and Fluffle (poor kitty boy… I wrote a post about him and why we both need) a break, I took a drive down to Winterthur. Sunny, but there’s a cold breeze out on the hillside. Still, the scenery has been inspiring. Hopefully, some of the scenery will help inspire some creativity that doesn’t involve my cellphone camera.

Because of the Fluffle matter, my writing has been close to nil. I also haven’t been reaching my editing or beta reading goals (BIG apologies, You Know Who). I have managed to keep the ROW80 blog scheduled (though that was a close thing).

I think, in general, I’m doing quite well. While I’m not making a ton of forward momentum, I am still keeping up with things that would mess up other people if I let them slide. And… I am making a point to do some self-care when things are so, so crazy.

Crazy how? Well, tbh, none of it is extraordinary. There is just a lot of it. Some is a bit absurd, such as having to cut 4 mm pills in half to give Fluffle the correct does of one of his medications (of which there are six). We won’t discuss the success I’ve been having trying to get get him to actually take those 1/2 pills….

There’s also the long-distance event planning for Dad’s Celebration of Life service. And coordinating the trip north when my son has his Junior Formal the night before. (If you’re local and coming to the service, please don’t be offended if I seem a bit tired and out of it.)

There’s normal stuff too, of course. Normal cleaning, decluttering, yardwork, housework, car maintenance… All the stuff that won’t wait even when you wish it could.

Cranberry Lake

And there’s all those things I really want to get done: writing, drawing, reading…. the stuff that takes the stolen moment, needs at least a quieted spirit to reach its potential.

That stuff is where I’m most lacking in progress these days—the stuff that the ROW80 challenge is supposed to be about. Does this mean I’m failing at my goals?

Or…

….

I don’t know. I just know I am going to keep trying to find those moments of beauty and creative energy. They sustain me.

How are you doing?

(This post is part of the A Round of Words in 80 Days Writing Challenge. To learn more, to join, or to check-in on our other members, look here.)

Trying to Reset

A day late again, but March….ing on.

I don’t remember a single March in the past 15 years that hasn’t been chaotic. This one is looking to be no exception. After all… November came in like a lion, but until Dad’s Celebration of Life service on Palm Sunday weekend, the lambs are too busy rollicking in my head to settle down and rest.

That isn’t to say I’m not finding moments to settle and rejuvenate. As I mentioned in my last post, I am learning to see my limits better. In fact, I made a MOO (Me Only Outing ) to Winterthur last Thursday for some reset time. It helped… it helped a lot.

Capturing Moments in the Café

Friday was probably the most productive day I’ve had in a long, long time. Several little things that had been waiting in the wings got done. (Though, Thursday evening I spaced and missed the monthly business and process meeting with the SJWA.)

Saturday was even good, and officially that had been a planned “date day” with the Leader of the Opposition Party (actually, he and I disagree very little, but the term always makes me grin to use it). We managed a bunch of errands and figured out plans for the back yard that have been languishing since we arrived here.

Sunday… not so good. I forgot to get a WeWriWa post up on my name blog, but I did get a few things done and checked out another group in the area (this one dedicated to traveling, since I’m such a … homebody).

I’ve been waking up a lot earlier lately, and I think this sleep reset is doing something with the way I am able to function as well. I used to be a night person, but now… 4:40am waking times seem to be my regular. No alarms, just the body says “Hey, brain time.”

Thing is, I’m not set up for that at the moment. I guess that needs to be the next step: a way to make those hours in the morning more useful. Though, I haven’t quite figured out what that is without compromising some of the things that make my journey on this blue-green ball of rock worth living for….

Someday.

For now, focus needs to be on just check off boxes on my todo list. And… editing. I’m with Alberta on this… March is, even if there is no website saying it anymore, NaNoEdMo. For me, that’s also a first run of tying in pages. Double damage.

Though, TBH, I’d really rather be back at The Grotto watching these beauties:

I like the trees reflecting over the water