Tag Archives: self-image

All The Cats

JuJuBee Mabee

JuJuBee Mabee

Those of you who have more than one pet in the house know how favorites can be picked by those pets….  how one person will get all the attention from one particular animal and be ignored by the other(s), or how each animal tries to commandeer your attention and keep you from paying attention to the other pet(s).  The ins and outs of high school cliques must have their inspiration from how pets handle their humans.

Three cats live at our house: two inside, one outside.  The two inside kitties, JuJuBee and Flufflepuff, are supposedly by son’s cats.  Well, JuJuBee is, except when she wants the food dish filled at 4am  or when she needs to makes sure I’m tucked into bed at night and wants to make sure my neck is warm by laying across it (which was a lot more comfortable when she was a kitten).

Flufflepuff Mabee in his glory

Flufflepuff Mabee in his glory

Flufflepuff and our outdoor cat, Mr. Kitty,  seem to have adopted me as their human as well.  I would like to call them Yin Yang cats, but…  their stories are too similar.

Flufflepuff is JuJuBee’s brother.  He’s nothing like her.  Where she’s brazen and convinced that everything is for her to enjoy, Fluffle is terrified of pretty much any sound, movement,… probably even thought.  We’ve had him in the house for about a year now…  the first several months we had to keep him in a dog kennel because we needed to know we could catch him for vet visits, neutering, etc.  Two months ago, I finally was able to touch him without bleeding (profusely).    Now…  he follows me around the house, begs me for hugs, and oh…  the purring.


Mr. Kitty does NOT like the flash

Mr. Kitty was (still is mostly) a feral cat that had latched onto our house because I leaving food outside for our rebel-without-a-clue cat, Stimpy (who died last year from… well, choosing to go outside during really bad snowstorms and old age).  I can pet Mr. Kitty; he runs in terror when anyone else comes within sight, then “mrrps” (quite pitifully, I might add) at me when he gets brave enough to come out.  He too follows me around, gets under foot, and the purring…

If the studies really are true about purring…  I am one of the healthiest women alive.

I also feel… well, spread thin sometimes.  The two furry gentlemen in my life are pretty possessive.  When I go out to feed Mr. Kitty, he will dance, and hug, and purr, and basically show me how wonderful he thinks I am, complete with mice, moles, birds, etc. and a tail full of burdock seeds (and probably ticks) to decorate all my clothing.  When I go to bed, I am drowned in cats and am woken to wet noses on my face as the sun rises…   Fluffle and the Jellybelly Girl (my nickname for JuJuBee) literally take turns demanding attention.  It’s sweet, and normal…  it’s what cats (and people) do.

It’s a social animal thing, and the fact that it can make me feel so emotionally weary sometimes makes me wonder…  am I not a social animal?

Just wondering….  It’s not ask if I want to get rid of any of the furry folk at our house.  If Mr. Kitty misses one of his usual three to four visits a day, I worry about whether he got hit by a car (I’d bring him inside, but there are… issues involved).   Fluffle and Belly make great foot warmers, and they love to play together so much, just watching them brings joy.

But it does make me wonder…

Anyway, it’s time for the “real” reason I’m writing this post… a:

ROW80 Check-in

ROW80LogocopyA lot of false starts the last few days…

Of my original goals, I met each one at least once, but I missed a day here and there on every one.

  • Writing, I managed one day of new fiction, scoring about 250 new words.
  • Time with characters/storyworld — a bit better here.  I managed something each day, and today at while walking on the track, I came up with a cool scene for Alanii’s training in the Guard
  • Pushups/general fitness — Swimming Monday, some walking yesterday, push-up training plus track and swimming today…

Of my added on goals…

  • time with camera daily…  not only on target, but I think I got some amazing shots
  • French and German daily 10 minutes — I missed yesterday and I’m behind on my German even more.  I need to spend another 5 minutes to get on track today
  • MOOCs…  no progress.

So, not a bad check-in.  Could be better, but…  it’s still mostly moving ahead.  That’s my ROW80 check-in.  There are other ROWers out there who need your support and would love a visit.  Find them here!

Not Sure What

ROW80LogocopyI don’t really know what to say today. I can’t complain about my progress this week.  I’m doing everything I’ve set out to do for my goals–I’ve even added some things I need to make “official” here in my check-in.

I just don’t feel like I’m doing enough.  Or something…  I guess saying I don’t feel like I’m doing enough isn’t quite true.  I know I’m doing plenty, and I really am adding more each day.  I’ve been Spring Cleaning the house, removing clothes and stuff we never use and don’t need.  I added new words daily to my stories, new photographs…

I’m getting things done.

And I feel… off.

I don’t know what it is; I just know it’s something I’m going to have to deal with.  Other times I’ve felt this way, I was overwhelmed with external stressors, and I dropped the things that bring me pleasure, such as writing and art, so that I could deal with Life.

It’s not quite the same this time.  I’m just doing my thing.  But…  I think I know what I need to do.  I need to keep doing my thing.  I need to keep writing, taking pictures, doodling, reading, etc..  The other times, things smoothed out and got better.

This one should too.

And until then…  fake it till I make it, I guess.

ROW80 Check-in

Progress, progress…  yeah, progress.  Every day I hit all my goals in one form or another (I thought I might have missed my photo goal on the 9th, but then I remembered I used my iPhone for some pictures…  so yep, took pictures every day).  I averaged 843 words a day–though I did pull a huge day of words on Saturday, so the real average is somewhat lower.  I’m even starting to dream in story again.  😀

I’m also adding two goals (well, three, but two are similar enough I’ve grouped them together) for future check-ins.

  • languages — 10 minutes a day in German and French, because a little bit can go a long way as long as the effort is consistent
  • online classes/MOOCs — I’m taking two, and I need to remind myself on occasion that I have homework to get done.  Never was very good at getting homework done….

That’s about it.  But it’s Spring, and the apples are in bloom.  Please enjoy…

Apple Blossoms

Apple Blossoms


The Pinnacles in Mulu National Park

The Pinnacles in Mulu National Park (Photo credit: Erwin Bolwidt)

I almost didn’t do a post at all this week.  It’s end of school year crazy, JuNoWriMo has kicked in full force…  and, remember those teeth I said were bothering me?  Two extractions (one still in the works) and oral surgery coming at the end of the month.

Excitement all around….  hey, it’s even time for the:


MjAxNC04ZjBlYTU5ZmNiZjdiZjY4To avoid confusion, a bit of framing…

I’ve jumped a page or two in Phuque Ewe (also called the Unnamed Story) to get to this week’s WIPpet.  We’re still in ‘Listii’s bedroom at the Hastor family Home with Atyr and Valistii, still in the heat of things, both trying to escape in each other as ‘Listii’s brother attempt at ritual suicide hovers over the Hastor household.  The POV shifts here to Atyr and her feelings about what is happening…between them.

Australia pinnacle

Australia pinnacle (Photo credit: Kenny Teo (zoompict))

Five paragraphs for the 5th of June.

She found herself hovering at that pinnacle she had touched so many times before. Her thoughts were less on their bodies now and more on the mutual pleasure between them, on life, on heaven….the gods only knew what else.

No coherency there.

Random happy memories–maybe they were memories; somehow she suspected they’d never happened–passed though her mind. She wondered fleetingly what was taking him so long to join her, to dance on that pinnacle with her.

She reached with gentle, loving mental hands into his thoughts, feeling his love for her, his delight with her foremost.

Feeling his ultimate refusal to surrender to his desire more than he had.

And as with most things I write, I can find a song to fit the mood…  This one does pretty well:  No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak”.

K.L. Schwengel, of My Random Muse,  fearlessly leads the #WIPpet where writers post pieces of a draft (Work In Progress) that somehow relate with the date for fun and discussion. Feel free to comment and visit other #WIPpeteers here. We love company.

ROW80 Check-in

ROW80LogocopyI’m just not functioning at my best this week.  Worse yet, the degree of malfunction has been such that I now know how poorly I was functioning before this point.  I skipped my Sunday post (yet again) and seriously considered skipping today’s post as well.  I would have, if I hadn’t had the WIPpet section ready as a draft.

I mean, things aren’t “horrible”.  I am writing.  I am editing.  I am getting out and about, having lots of hugs and family time.  I’ve gotten my camera batteries recharged so I can get out and enjoy all these great flowers and the run-off waterfalls we will be having this weekend (and possibly even some cool Revolutionary War re-enactment at the historic Mabee Farm on Saturday).  Life is happening at its usual pace.

The Mabee Farm house

I just feel completely unable to handle the task.

I know on an intellectual level that this is just the family depression kicking me in the pants.  I’ve fought with depression enough over the years I know and recognize the symptoms.  Usually it doesn’t hit me now.  June is usually one of my best months.  But it’s been an extra stressful year already, and I’ve already dealt with the swings twice since  December.  I don’t know where I’m going to get the energy to fight this extra dose… not when I haven’t fully pulled myself out of the hole.

So, anyway…  I make no promises this time about a Sunday post.  If all goes well, I’m hoping I’ll be too occupied with family out-and-about time to think of blogging.

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